One year ago today a 36 week pregnant me went in for one more growth scan and found out that my son had no heartbeat. I had no idea anything was wrong and could swear I had just felt him move. But I was wrong, they told me he had been gone for at least a few days.
That was the moment that my life fell apart.
I have spent the past year trying to pick up the pieces.
Dealing with the loss of a child is never easy, but it's even more difficult when you are an expat living far from home. Life will never be "normal" again and so now the challenge is to find my new normal. I am now back in the USA and the proud parent of two daughters, born using two different egg donors. "Frostina" and "Olea" are the loves of my life and I feel so grateful for the amazing women who donated their eggs and made my family possible.
Sending you love from a new subscriber and new member of that dreaded club. It's a month on Sunday for me... 4 weeks yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI can barely see the pieces to pick up.
Much love to you..
http://www.hesperasgarden.com
I'm so terribly sorry. I think I *knew* Hope was dead, though I never wanted to believe it. I knew I could no longer feel her moving. But to have not seen it coming at all must have really added to the shock and trauma. I so wish your little boy was and that this wasn't your reality.
ReplyDeleteAll my love to you.
xo
Thinking of you today. Would love to participate in the balloon release but we are out of town at a wedding and can't even seem to find a grocery store. :( Can't wait to see all of the pics though! Hugs to you on this and every day. I can't believe it's been a year.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you today, and your beautiful baby boy. I am so sorry that today is a day of sadness and heartbreak instead of one of joy and celebration.
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you,
Jo
Sending Love and Hope to you today.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. Praying for you and your family today.
ReplyDeletexox
ReplyDeleteSending you love and squishy hugs. I'll be thinking about you and your family.
i feel blessed to have been a part of your life, even under such sad circumstance.
ReplyDeletei will be thinking of you, your husband, and your son today.
<3
Many hugs to you mama. I hope you find a way to make the day special.
ReplyDeletePlease know that I have been thinking about you since the past few days. Much love to you and your beautiful beautiful baby boy.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're missing your baby boy. Thinking of you and sending love.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss, I cannot image the grief you must feel from losing him so late in your pregnancy.
ReplyDeletefollowing from boost my blog fridays
http://www.theordinaryaunt.blogspot.com
Thinking of you today, and will be tomorrow too. Please know that I really want to release a balloon, but can't face the balloon shop again so soon.Looking forward to seeing all of the photos though. x
ReplyDeleteWow. Hang in there :)
ReplyDeleteStopping by from the Friday hops to say hello.
You can visit me at
http://poshonabudget.com/2011/08/friday-friend-connect-3.html
Have a great day!
POSH
I'm so sorry that today isn't just any day, just a day that you were pregnant with your son. Thinking of you today, and tomorrow.
ReplyDeletehugs
ReplyDeleteSending you so much love. <3
ReplyDeleteUgh. So sorry THIS is the day your world stopped. I kind of feel "lucky" (wrong word, but you know) that we got the news on one day and then Addi was born the next. That way I can hate the day she died, but love the day she was born...maybe it's sort of the same for you...?Hoping tomorrow and today go easy on you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your family today...
ReplyDeleteSo sorry.. You are in my thoughts..
ReplyDeleteHello there.. Officially following you from boost my blog hop today.. Lovely blog.. Awesome posts.. Settling in to read some more.. ;)) Hope you can stop by my blog sometime.. I'm Marilyn from http://theartsygirlconnection.blogspot.com/ .. Ciao :))
Sending you all my love. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteSending you light and love.
ReplyDeleteHave been thinking about you all week. Sending you love and peace.
ReplyDelete(And WTF is with people visiting from blog hops and not taking off the stupid happy comments?! So insensitive.)
Sending lots of love your way.......xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm a new follower too. I'll be thinking of you. Would you accept a candle lighting in your son's honor instead? I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteThe moment my life fell apart, then trying to put the pieces together again. I'm sending you lots of comfort right now and tomorrow for your son's birthday. Hoping that this next year brings more healing - thinking of you
ReplyDeleteSending lots of love to you today, and thinking of you and your little boy. xo
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of love as you remember your sweet son. Lots of love...
ReplyDeleteSending lots of love your way~
ReplyDeleteThinking of you today. Sending you and your husband comfort greetings from the Netherlands.
ReplyDeleteYou have been on my mind all wk.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I'm so late in posting this, but I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you've had to endure the past year without your little one. All the balloon pictures are just wonderful and I hope it brings a bit of comfort to know how many of us there are out there who remember your boy. xx
ReplyDelete