I think one of the things I hate most about infertility (besides the obvious) is that everything takes so much longer than you think it will. Pauses, and delays, and waiting,,,, it's enough to drive a girl crazy.
When we were first informed about our negative pregnancy test the nurse said there was no medical reason to have to wait. She said we could start our frozen cycle with our frosty as soon as my period arrived.
Awesome!! Some semi-good news for once.
Not so fast there missy! It seems that there may be a delay.
I get an email from the nurse a couple of days ago saying the clinic is busy and they may not be able to fit me in until mid-October but she is still trying for an earlier date. Needless to say I am not at all pleased by this news. The hubby and I have a pretty packed schedule and cycling in September would be so much more convenient.
We have already pushed back our trip home to see the family twice and if we cycle in mid-October then I will have to do my beta test somewhere in California,,, where I don't currently have a fertility clinic. Ugh! Plus I really don't want to be getting the news while we're traipsing around the state visiting various family members.
I can't imagine I will take a second negative nearly as well as I took the first and don't think the family really wants to be around a moping crying me. Not to mention that the hubby could potentially find himself trapped in a car with a moping crying me for hours on end as we drive ourselves like ping pong balls from one family members house to the next.
I know I'm being very glass half empty here and it's possible that the cycle will work and I will get a positive test. But even then I'd rather not be staying with various family members when I get the news. I want to get the news at home, where I am comfortable, where I will have time to process the outcome before being bombarded with all that family time.
So I fired back an email saying that I really need to cycle in September. I have not yet heard back which I'm hoping means she is still out there fighting my corner and trying to get me a better date. I assume that if there was no flexibility then I would have already gotten a no in response.
So I cross my fingers and hope for the best. I just hate all this waiting!
Dealing with the loss of a child is never easy, but it's even more difficult when you are an expat living far from home. Life will never be "normal" again and so now the challenge is to find my new normal. I am now back in the USA and the proud parent of two daughters, born using two different egg donors. "Frostina" and "Olea" are the loves of my life and I feel so grateful for the amazing women who donated their eggs and made my family possible.
Ug. I totally agree with you, the waiting is the hardest part. And it always takes longer than you expect. This time of year is particularly tough because most clinics start their last cycles in November for the holiday break, and won't start cycling again until January. Good luck! I don't see why they couldn't fit you in, because FETs take so much less of the doctor's time. Grrr...
ReplyDeleteWait is painful. Probably no one will know this better than us. And indeed it's driving me crazy too. Really wish you get a response you want.
ReplyDeleteMuch much luck to you with your next cycle. I really want it to work.
I shall keep my fingers crossed for you too x x x
ReplyDeleteI had delay after delay with cysts after our fresh DE cycle failed to result in a pregnancy. I thought I would EXPLODE.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you, man, I really do. Keep up the fight for the dates you want - I hope you win.
Right there with you. All this waiting sucks! When you hear how many years people try, it seems incredible, until you realize that you're lucky to get in one good try every three months or so. I hope you are able to get your cycle in when you want it!
ReplyDeleteI hate that so much! I am in the same boat. We got our negative beta yday from IVF and my world is crushed. We are looking into other clinics too. The whole process is so stressful. So emotionally and physicially draining! Wishing you the best of luck. We have one frostie so I am hoping next time will work!
ReplyDeleteNo doubt about it, from all you've shared it has to be the pits. Sending good thoughts ('September cycle, September cycle') your way.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I'm not sure which is worse, waiting or waiting on someone elses dime. There's no positive way to spin it. I'm just so sorry that you're experiencing this. It offers more time to think and dwell in the sadness and frustration. Here's hoping you can spending time hoping and that's empowering for you. Your messages hit home in more ways than you can realize for so many.
ReplyDeleteI think the waiting is one of the hardest parts. I wish that for all the money you are spending you could get things done on your schedule. It's the way 'it ought to be'. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you will get a call with good news!
ReplyDeleteI haven't started my first IVF cycle yet. I can only imagine that the waiting game is a killer though cause I am naturally impatient when it comes to most things.....except with people..funny enough. I hope you do hear back soon and you are able to choose the dates you want. I won't be starting my first cycle till January.
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