Sunday, 7 August 2011

Operation Distraction

I am back from the lovely US of A. Even though we didn't go to Washington DC as tourists, we did catch a few sights while we were there. Tomorrow evening we're off again, this time to Barcelona. The hubby has to go for work and I've decided to tag along. I will be spending quite a bit of time on my own since he will be pretty busy, but it beats being home alone, especially this week.

Our tourist excursions in DC and the week in Barcelona are all part of "Operation Distraction." You see, in addition to being officially in my 2 week wait from our donor egg IVF cycle it is also only one week until our son's first birthday. It's a lot to deal with all at one time so the idea is to keep me busy so I won't have lots of time on my own to dwell on things. I'm not trying to deny either event or it's significance and will give each it's due focus and respect of course. But the less time alone sitting on my couch I have to obsess, the better.

The timing of these two things couldn't be more bittersweet for me. On the one hand I'm super excited to think that this cycle could work and I could be pregnant again. On the other hand I'm super sad to think that it's been almost one full year without my precious baby boy. When we began this cycle it never even occurred to me that we would be waiting on results right around the 13th which is his day.

In fact, I felt a huge sigh of relief when I found out that my beta test won't be until the 17th of August. I'm not sure I would want to be having my pregnancy test results back before or on his birthday. I'm not going to cheat and pee on a stick before the 13th either. I want his birthday to be all about him, not about joy or sorrow over pregnancy test results.

As I mentioned before, we will be releasing a balloon to honor our son's memory. We will do ours privately but will be inviting family and close friends to release their own as well. Sometime this week I've got to draft that email letting people know our plans and inviting them to participate, but first things first.

So today it's a rush of laundry and re-adjusting to UK time. Tomorrow night I will be tucked into my bed at the hotel in Barcelona. I will of course be taking it easy to give that little embryo time to snuggle in for the long haul. I figure it's just as beneficial to lay on a lounge chair by the pool as it is to lay on my couch. Plus I won't be having to do any housework or dishes while I'm in Barcelona so really I'm going to be taking it easier than if I'd stayed home, right?

Operation Distraction is in full swing. Here's hoping it helps pass the time!


  1. I'm glad you posted. You've been on my mind this week.

    Operation Distraction sounds like a fabulous plan, as do your plans to honor your son.

    I totally respect your decision to wait until after his birthday to test, and I'm glad your clinic is waiting, too.

    Sending all the love, sticky vibes, and hugs that I can from halfway across the world.


  2. So hoping things work out for you this cycle. You will be in my thoughts this week as we both deal with this difficult milestone.

  3. I think everyone should spend the 2ww someplace beautiful like Barcelona :)

    I am so glad that you won't be testing on your son's birthday. It seems like the right thing to do, for his memory, and for your sanity.

    I'll be thinking of you...relaxing by the pool. I wish I could join you. Fingers, toes, and eyes crossed!!!!

  4. Thinking of you, your little boy's birthday, and his little brother or sister who I hope is growing strong. Such a good plan to have a distraction this week.

    Sending hope and good thoughts.

  5. Enjoy your trip! I will be thinking of you this week. x

  6. Enjoy Barcelona. I loved it there.
    I think distraction is a great idea right now. I can relate to this time of year feeling heavy for many competing reasons. I'm due in three weeks, Hope's birthday is in less than two. It is all too much. Can I join you in Barcelona?!?

  7. Good Luck!

    I found your blog from the 'Blow your own Blog Horn' the other week. I'll admit I read your blog with some trepidation as we're on our own TTC journey. Fingers crossed this is your happy ending.

  8. You have so many things going in right now and you will be on my mind in the following weeks. I am so glad to hear that your test is after your son's birthday. I wouldn't be able to deal with both those things either. I am not sure what kind of emotions that first birthday will bring, but I would think I would want all of my attention for Addison that day as you will want it all for your son, that perfect firtborn son <3

  9. I think it's so wonderful that you have distractions planned...can't think of a better way for you to spend this time. I'm glad your son's anniversary and your beta are not on the same day...that is just too much for one person to handle. This is a different situation, but one of my failed IVFs last year my beta was on the same day my brother had died (the anniversary) and I was a total and complete wreck with both those events. It was a positive beta, but not a good know, the call that goes "your beta is positive, but it's too low, and we want you to prepare yourself for a chemical pregnancy."
    Enjoy barcelona and fingers crossed for you to have a successful outcome to your 2WW!

  10. Fingers crossed, toes too ...
    You are in my thoughts and in my prayers xxx

  11. Hope all goes well! Will be thinking of you!

  12. I have been thinking about you lots this week. I hope you find some peace on the 13th and that you have fabulous news to celebrate a few days later. X