Monday, 26 August 2013

Egg Donor 2.0 Has Been Selected

Ever since we made the decision to try for another baby things have been very slowly moving forward. Things always take longer than we think they will for various reasons but we finally got all the preliminary steps out of the way and were granted access to chose donor 2.0.

Choosing an egg donor is tricky business. Back in 2011 when we were choosing Frostina's donor I wrote about my struggles here and here. I just went back and re-read both posts and have to say that it was pretty much the same this time around.

Sure we knew how to do it and yes it wasn't nearly as overwhelming this time around. But this time around there was a third point to consider. Did we want to pick a donor that looked like Frostina? After all, if this whole thing works then this person will be Frostina's sibling. So considering we couldn't use the donor we did for her, should we try and find a donor who looks similar?

I know, I know, looks aren't everything. And of course we looked for a proven donor with a good medical history. But what I have learned is that looks do matter a bit. I don't mean attractive or not attractive, I mean looking like Mommy or Daddy.

People are obsessed with looks when it comes to babies. They examine every nook and cranny of your little one trying to determine who he or she looks like. If I had a pound for every time I hear how Frostina looks nothing like me I'd be a very rich woman. So this time around we did take this into consideration.

In the end I think we found a donor who ticked all the boxes. So now we pay the clinic and get this party started!

Monday, 19 August 2013

Happy 3rd Birthday In Heaven

My beautiful beloved little boy,

I can't believe it's been 3 years since we said hello and good bye to you. There are times when it feels like just yesterday. And there are times when it seems like a million years ago. Your daddy and I love you very much and we miss you like crazy.

I know it might not seem like it nowadays since we are so busy taking care of your little sister, but we haven't forgotten you.

You are still there... just pushed a little bit back in our minds. Not because we don't love you... but because it's not possible to focus enough on taking care of your sister while thinking of you constantly.

In the beginning it was easy to think of you night and day. But now that Frostina is here, we have to focus on her.

Please know that you are not being pushed aside. You are merely working your way into the patchwork of our lives. You have become part of the thread that holds this family together. We were not the same before you, and we will never be the same since we lost you. It is because of you that we are the strong, loving family we are today.

We appreciate everything so much more now that we know just how it feels to lose someone we loved so much. Even though we never got to know you, we love you and miss you everyday.

So while you may not be the first thing we think of when we wake up anymore. While you may not be the last person we think of before we fall asleep anymore. While we don't cry ourselves to sleep each night missing you anymore. Please know that you are still an essential part of our new family,,,, and an even more essential part of our new normal. Without you there would be no us. You will always be a very special and important part of our lives.

Oh, and I hope you don't mind that we let Frostina play with your birthday balloon for a few days before we released it. She just loved it so much and we figured you would be old enough now to want to share.

Love always,

Mommy and Daddy, and your little sister, Frostina.

Monday, 12 August 2013

Feeling The Tug

We're back from our summer holiday in the USA and back on London time. Wow, what a struggle that was! Jet lag plus little people is an awful combination. But alas in the life of an expat, jet lag is just part of the package.

It was so lovely to see Frostina interact with the family. It's amazing how much joy and light a baby toddler can bring to a room. She was showered with love and totally spoiled... basically she loved every minute of it. I had lots of free time while everyone was spoiling Frostina so I loved every minute of it as well.

Frostina is almost walking. I think she could already do it if she had the confidence. Sometimes when she's cruising she takes both hands off the wall and takes a few steps. I know it's just a matter of time before I will be chasing after her. In the meantime she's moving all over the place and it's super cute to see.

Just a little baby yoga at my Great Grandmother's house.

I do feel a bit more of a tug back home now that we have Frostina. In the old pre-children days, these visits were fun but they didn't make me want to leave our life in London. This time around, leaving was hard. And now that I'm back I do feel like maybe she is missing out by not being closer to family.

I know logically that even if we do move back to the US, it will most likely not be back where we came from. Which means we will most likely be on the other side of the country and therefore not really any closer to our family. But my heart does wish that we could move back there sometimes.

I'm not quite ready to leave the UK, but I can feel the tug much stronger than ever before. 

Monday, 5 August 2013

Jet Lag Is A Bitch

We are back in the UK after a wonderful trip home to the US to see family.

It's great to see family and watch Frostina interact with her family. But the coming home part sucks ass.

We are back to a land where it is 8 hours ahead,,,, after an almost 11 hour flight,,, with a 14 month old,,,,,,,

The plane ride was not so nice.

Our first night home was even worse.

Frostina went down at her normal 7pm bed time. Then she was up at 1am. Somehow thinking her bed time was just a nap.

So I was up with her from 1am until 4:30am until she finally went back to bed.

It's currently 9:45pm on day two.

Please let her sleep through the night!

Jet lag is a bitch!