Friday 7 January 2011

So I'm All Better Now,,,, Right?? No?? Well At Least My Hair Looks Good.

Today was our last appointment with our therapist and I'm left wondering,,, am I all better now?

My husband's company has a pretty great benefits scheme which includes grief counseling. They found and paid for a certain number of sessions with a psychologist who lives very close to us. It's not a benefit either of us knew about, but the fabulous folks at the HR department set it all up for us. All we had to do was show up.

Now I have my Bachelors degree in Psychology but up until now I've never actually done any kind of therapy. So even though I have knowledge of what psychologists do, I was still pretty unsure of what to expect during our sessions. I know my husband didn't know what to expect because after the first session he said he didn't think our therapist was any good because she didn't tell what to do, all she did was sit and listen to us talk. I got a pretty big giggle out of that one. You gotta appreciate how men just want to cut to the chase and get the answers fast. So I explained that therapy is a process where we work through our feelings with the guidance of the psychologist and then he got it.

I think that our sessions have really helped us. They allowed us a safe place to talk about our son and how much it hurts that he is not with us. Therapy has also facilitated a lot of talks at home. We have done a pretty good job of sharing our feelings with each other, both in and out of our sessions. I think we both have a better understanding of how each other is coping with our loss and what we can do to support each other. We have a long road ahead of us and we're taking each step together. And we're both open to future sessions if we think we need them at any point going forward.

After the appointment I went to the hair salon for much needed color and highlights. I'm not normally one who lets these kinds of things go as I've got a bit of a vain streak running through me. Roots and straggly ends are not my friends. But the holidays really took it out of me this year and for the first time in memory, I let myself slide on the grooming front. I'm still a bikini wax and a pedicure away from my usual self, but the hair was a great start to my transformation. I love the feeling of walking out of the salon with shiny bouncy hair. It's like being a kid on the first day of school with your new school shoes on. As I walked home I felt like a new woman. A happy one.

So am I all better now? Not even close. But at least my hair looks good!

10 comments:

  1. I just got my hair cut and colored yesterday. I'd had the appointment scheduled two months in advance but I would have canceled it if my hairdresser hadn't sent me a lovely sympathy card with a note about her brother's death. I still hesitated to go because I love getting my hair done and it felt disloyal to do something I might enjoy. But I went. And I cried. And so did my hairdresser.

    And I have to admit, it felt good to leave the salon with bouncy, shiny hair, even if it is totally at odds with how the rest of me feels.

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  2. So lovely to hear that you are doing it together, I can't imagine how hard it is but together will make it a little more bearable.

    Happy Birthday for Sunday :) Jen

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  3. Sending prayers for you and your husband as you continue to work through this process. Stopping by today on the blog hop, and looking forward to a return visit to see more of your great blog. God Bless you both :)

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  4. Well, at least the hair looks good! :) So glad the therapy was productive and positive for you and your hubby. I've been considering some of that for myself.

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  5. Enjoy the little moments like this... I am so glad you found one today.

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  6. I have always felt like a trip to the salon was pretty darn close to therapy! Glad today had some extra sparkle :)

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  7. Sending you and your hubby lots of love and light... Sorry about your baby.
    Stopped by to follow your blog from the Ace & Friends Weekend blog hop... do comment/follow me back :-)
    Have an abundant 2011! :-)
    Best,
    Elizabeth
    Positive Kismet Blog

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  8. I used to color my hair...regularly. When I got pregnant, I stopped because I had heard things back and forth on the safety of coloring hair during pregnancy. I was scared to make any mistake, so I followed the advice. We were also in the process of moving cities, so I didn't have a trusted hair stylist. So, after the super attractive grow-out phase, my husband told me that he liked my hair better darker. He didn't want me to color it anymore...We lost Caroline at 39.2 weeks to an umbilical cord accident in October, but I still haven't colored my hair. Basically, I just try not to notice it! I have had a massage though...and it was heavenly.

    Glad you found a happy time!!!

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  9. I used to color my hair...regularly. When I got pregnant, I stopped because I had heard things back and forth on the safety of coloring hair during pregnancy. I was scared to make any mistake, so I followed the advice. We were also in the process of moving cities, so I didn't have a trusted hair stylist. So, after the super attractive grow-out phase, my husband told me that he liked my hair better darker. He didn't want me to color it anymore...We lost Caroline at 39.2 weeks to an umbilical cord accident in October, but I still haven't colored my hair. Basically, I just try not to notice it! I have had a massage though...and it was heavenly.

    Glad you found a happy time!!!

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  10. Therapy and a haircut... it's gotta help? I have never done therapy, but I am sure it is worthwhile to have a place to really talk through things we struggle to articulate. Your 'new normal' might be nothing like your old normal, so how are you going to know when you are normal again? Tough one. I hope you find your contentment. x

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