Wednesday 4 April 2012

We're All In

I had an ultrasound yesterday and all is well with Frostina. She decided to start a kung fu kicking party right before the scan began which continued throughout. This party was called, kick Mommy and the ultrasound wand. Apparently it's all the rage with the 27 week old in-utero crowd. She sure seemed to enjoy it.

After all the measurements were done which showed she's growing right on track for her age, my doctor captured this image.

Caught in the act.
Yep, that's her foot in mid-kick. She was moving around and kicking so much that the doctor had to take extra time to listen to all the placental blood flow stuff he wanted to listen to. Apparently, when your baby keeps kicking the ultrasound wand it interferes with the sound wave measurements.

It was so nice and such a relief to see her moving around like that. I am always so scared when going into these scans because I have learned the hard way that they don't always bring good news. After the appointment I called The Hubby to share the experience. He's away at the moment and couldn't come to the scan. He was just as relieved as I was. But mixed in with his relief was the worry that is always there.

As this pregnancy progresses and we get closer to where it all went wrong the last time we are both getting more and more worried. We're at the point now where she is real. Denial is gone, and we're both getting to the point where the idea that this may actually happen for us this time is within our grasp. An avid poker player, The Hubby said it best when he told me that we're at the point now where we're all in.

In poker if you think you have a winning hand you will often go all in. In the tournaments they show on TV, the professionals push their huge stack of chips in the middle with a dramatic flair. "All in," they pronounce to the crowd. They usually will stand up and pace around the table in anticipation of the cards the dealer will flip over. If the cards are on their side, they cheer and jump around victoriously. They have won the jackpot and sometimes the title. They are the winners. If the cards are not on their side, they lose and walk away in defeat.

All in. That's how The Hubby and I feel.

All our chips are on the table. We're completely at the mercy of the cards we are yet to be dealt. We will either walk away from this in victory with a beautiful baby girl in our arms, or in defeat with empty arms and broken hearts.

We're all in and it's a very scary place to be.

22 comments:

  1. Yup, exactly. All in is a great way to think of it.

    Glad to hear your little lady is so active (and bad-ass,already!). :)

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  2. Uh, yes all in is scary! Right There with you tho

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  3. I am sending out my prayers, my tears, my wishes that this beautiful little jackpot is yours to keep.

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  4. Yep, all in.
    You've got a cute little kicker there. Hi, Frostina!

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  5. Frostina is just delicious with her kung fu moves.
    I'm sure it's very scary still, but I have so much hope that you will holding this wiggly baby girl in your arms in about 11-13 weeks.

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  6. Go Frostina! Maybe you have a little footballer in there, UK football I mean.

    Fighting spirit can only be a good thing in in-utero babies. Hope your hubby is back soon.

    x

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  7. Those kicks are so reassuring! Hope that they continue to give you peace!

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  8. Great u/s pic! I'm not familiar with your previous story, but I've always felt for those who've suffered pre-term births and/or miscarriages because I just KNOW how scared they must be the next time around. Wishing you peace and happiness and a healthy and lively little one as you move forward in your pregnancy!

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  9. It's funny how I really wanted to try to protect myself from going "all in," but there's really no way to do that, is there? Wishing you the happy ending this time.

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  10. Keep pacing the floor just a little while longer. It's a great image, too, because a woman in labor often has to walk the floor.

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  11. Congratulations!! Praying for a safe pregnancy!

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  12. She is amazing! All in! I think that's how uphold be with babies. They deserve all of our love!

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  13. I bet you can't help but be all in - especially when you feel those kicks and rolls! So glad she's doing well :)

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  14. She has grown so big! Look at that perfect head and that lively foot!

    You are right...all in. And it's a long time to hold your breath and see if you've got the winning hand too.

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  15. What a beautiful picture. Enjoy this time. I remember I was so afraid to be 'too happy' when I was pregnant. There is always that worry you feel, but in hindsight I should have relaxed more and enjoyed the ride.

    I'm happy for you and your family. enjoy this time as much as you can :0)

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  16. Stunning pic! I also have a kicker.
    I'm all in with you :)

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  17. Wonderful to see your little darling girl... you are amazingly brave and have been through so much. May the next few weeks fly by to when you're holding her in your arms xoxo

    PS. I've gone public again... so will hopefully be easier to follow :) xo

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  18. I love your sense of humor as you describe her - "all the rage with the 27 week in-utero crowd". Sweet, and I'm so glad she's giving you memories like this already. Here's hoping fervently for a lifetime of them.

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  19. Congratulations! 27 weeks and going for gold it sounds like. We too struggled with infertility of which I have only just now had the courage to write about. I even ate pigeon to get pregnant, the things we do. I totally understand how you feel having your cards out. I'm 25 weeks so not long to go, I am trying not to worry and to just enjoy every kick!

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  20. Oh the foot is SO dang cute! Congrats on 27 weeks.. and I am so thrilled that you are all-in. I know how hard the mindset can be to achieve- but you are there and that is certainly something to smile about. Hugs!

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