Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Outing Myself On Facebook

No, I did not use this photo!
As the title says, I have announced my pregnancy on facebook.

I know many of you are shrieking in horror right now. You're probably thinking, "Not another smug, cheesy, annoying pregnancy announcement!" I can promise you that I did my best to make sure my announcement was none of those things.

I absolutely understand why many of my fellow Baby Loss Mom's and Infertiles are not huge fans of Facebook. It can be a source of pain for many of us. I myself have been known to hide all photos of friends on my list who have just had babies. But at the same time, I do love social networking sites. As someone who lives overseas, I find they really are the best way to keep in touch with family and friends back home.

The Hubby and I are working on embracing this pregnancy. Our little Frosty deserves to have parents who are as happy and excited for his/her arrival as we were when I was pregnant with our son. So in this spirit, I decided to go for it.

I wanted to make sure that my announcement didn't seem smug, cheesy, or annoying. I also wanted to acknowledge where we are in our lives with respect to this new pregnancy. To try and make people aware that while I still struggle with grief, I am also hopeful. I don't want anyone to forget about our firstborn or to think that now that I'm pregnant that everything is wonderful again.

In addition, I wanted to share the term Rainbow Baby with everyone and explain what it means. That's a lot to squeeze into a pregnancy announcement, but I was determined to make it happen.

It took me about a week to find the perfect wording. I searched the web high and low for just the right definition for the term rainbow baby. There are a few floating around, but none of them seemed quite right. So I took a few bits and pieces from what I found elsewhere, and wrote the rest myself. In the end I think it strikes a good balance of expressing my loss while still celebrating the new life growing inside me.

Here's what I posted.  

After every storm there is a rainbow, illuminating the clouds and bringing the color back into what was previously a gray and stormy sky. The beauty of the rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm, but instead offers the promise of brighter times ahead. It is for this reason that babies born after a loss are often referred to as “Rainbow Babies.” Today I would like to share the news that I am pregnant with what we hope will be our rainbow baby. There are days when I still feel like I’m in the middle of the storm, but I’m now dreaming of our rainbow who is due to arrive this June.

I know it's a bit long for a facebook post, but it was important for me to get this message out correctly. Hopefully I've done that. 



33 comments:

  1. Your FB post was well thought out, sensitive and beautifully written! It is such a tricky thing to navigate grief and joy at the same time and especially when you need to communicate to others who might not fully understand you feel both equally. I think you did well!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a wonderful facebook post. It gave me chills reading it. I think it is great that you shared the term rainbow baby. It has a great message and I am so happy for you!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think you did it absolutely perfectly.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think the wording is beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is really beautiful. And not a bit of cheesy smugness!
    I didn't get a chance to announce my pregnancy, on FB or otherwise, but I would have because I have many family and friends who I only contact through FB. I didn't have the faintest idea how to actually go about it. I think you nailed it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Beautifully written. I wish you nothing but the best. Enjoy every moment of your pregnancy. God Bless

    ReplyDelete
  7. That's a beautiful announcement. You've captured the essence of this being a great joy, one that also touches immense sadness. I'm glad that you've been able to tell your friends in this way. You will get lots of love and support, which is just what you need.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I think that it's absolutely beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think that's lovely. I dropped out of FB, but I also understand that it can be a great source of support and connection after loss--with BLMs, but also with friends and family who are far away. So I'm glad for you that you were ready to do this. And hoping so hard for Frosty!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I just had the same issue come up, and I think it ended up really great. Hope you have the same loving feedback! it's beautifully written.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you for sharing this, i am 8 weeks pregnant having not done the social network thing yet but am planning to, mainly because its my way of chickening out telling everyone face to face! But i had a miscarriage last year so we are keeping our news to ourselves at the moment, (of course u know now!) and I proudly told my fiance we are hving a "rainbow baby" xxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well said. I think anyone could respect what you've said and understand the concept of rainbow baby. hugs-
    Felicia

    ReplyDelete
  13. You strike such a delicate balance between grief and moving forward. You do your son's memory honor, and I hope the responses were as loving and warm as your post.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Beautiful.

    My first acknowledgement online of our rainbow was a cashew nut ( roughly the right size at the time) on a square of rainbow knitting. Everyone got it, except my other children, who we wanted to keep in the dark a while longer.

    Makes me smile now.

    ReplyDelete
  15. So perfect! It encompasses both hope and exciting as well as remembrance for your baby. It's perfect.

    I've been writing and rewriting my "announcement" on fb for weeks and keep coming up blank... If I can't figure it out, I might just blatantly copy you. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Just beautiful, and so right for you.

    ReplyDelete
  17. It is a beautiful post, well written, tasteful and just the right touch of, I am still sad but happy too. UGH....wish you could be smug.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is truly beautiful! And I'm so glad you found a way to share your pregnancy news with your FB friends that is right for you!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Good luck. I truly hope that everything works out for you. I thought that your announcement sounded lovely. Best Wishes.
    things alissa knows @ look.find.inspire

    ReplyDelete
  21. I think you should feel free to share your wonderful news wherever you like. No matter where, there will always be someone who has been through a difficult time and who doesn't relish sharing your good fortune. But it's life and we have to make the best of it.

    I have a friend on FB whose wife miscarried 7 times. She's now pregnant with twins that are due in March, and they are totally ecstatic. They post pictures of scans and her bump and it's amazing to see them so happy.

    CJ x

    ReplyDelete
  22. A lovely way to announce your fantastic news. Sod them all!

    On another note. I am not surprised you have no posts with the colour yellow in them. It has never been a popular one. I am giving it some love this Weekend x

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love how you shared your news on FB. Beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I am so sorry for your loss. It's good to know we're not alone and others "get it." I have found so much encouragement in the blogging community. I'd love to have you follow along on my blog as well; www.roseandherlily.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Reading your FB annoucement has made me all teary eyed! It's very well written and I love that you incorporated the rainbow baby.

    I had a very hard time deciding whether or not I wanted to announce anything on FB. I went as far as to disable my wall so that friends and family couldn't publicly ask, "How's the baby doing?" and spark a comment frenzy before I was ready. I was terrified of announcing my pregnancy and then having to "take it back" because something happened. I went through a similar expierence with my first pregnancy -- I announced it to a group of people through email two days before I found out the baby had died several weeks earlier. I was receiving congratulation emails while sitting in the doctor's office listening to the receptionist get pre-authorization for my D&C. It took me until the beginning of my third trimester (just a few weeks ago) to get the guts to make an announcement.

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is beautiful! I have been waiting for the "right" time or the "right" feeling to announce our rainbow baby on the social media, to share with all my friends who have been so very supportive after the loss of our daughter. Your post has given me inspiration to write my own version as well! Thanks!!
    www.isabellesheart.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete