Tuesday, 8 March 2011

The Club That No One Wants To Join

I have found myself a part of a very exclusive club. It's a secret club that you only find out about once you're invited to join. The price of membership is very high and there are no refunds. Once you become a member, you are a member for life. No matter where you go or what you do, you will always belong to this club. It is an all-inclusive group of men and women from around the world. This club does not discriminate against anyone for any reason. It is one of the most diverse clubs around. Equal opportunity reigns free here.

What is this fabulous club, you ask? What is the price of membership? How did you hear about it? How do I sign up?

The answer is this...

The club goes by many different names but I call it the Baby Loss Mom's Club. The price of membership is the life of your child. No one tells you about it in advance, it's a very secretive society. But when your baby dies you gain instant membership.

It's the club that no one wants to join,,, and I'm a member.

If you are reading this then it's highly likely that you are a member too. If this is the case then I am very sorry.

The only good thing about being in the club is that it is filled with amazing people who support each other. When the rest of the world is busy moving on and not wanting to talk about our loss anymore, our fellow members are still there. They grieve along side us. They get us. They are us.

So thank you to all my fellow BLM's who have been there for me during my journey through grief. I don't think I could do this without you. I only wish I could have met you through a different club, like maybe a wine tasting club, or a travel club. I wish that our children could have met each other and played together here on earth and not in some other place like heaven, or an alternate universe, or another dimension.

I wish we all weren't members of this club. The club that no one wants to join.

32 comments:

  1. Oh how I wish that for all of us as well. Ironic too because I hated being in clubs my whole life, but I do appreciate all the love and support that comes out of being a part of this club. All my love to you mama!

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  2. I am sorry that you find yourself a member here - no one would ever want to join a club like this; paying that ultimate price!!
    I am grateful for these BLM's too - thank you Lady

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  3. I couldn't explain the club better. How I wish for all of us that there was no need for this club!

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  4. I couldn't put it into better words

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  5. So true about this club. I am eight weeks out today and it is all so true what you posted. Thanks for helping me along. Love and Hugs to you.

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  6. Words of wisdom...a wisdom and sadness tangled together. I couldn't say it better myself.
    ~Felicia

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  7. agreed. I am so grateful to have the BLM's but wish we could have met under different circumstances

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  8. So well said... I often think about how grateful I am for all of the support from BLM's, but it is just so sad that our paths cross for this reason..

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  9. With you all... wish we could have all met in a different club under different circumstances. But now that we're here, it's lovely to be part of such a compassionate, understanding group xoxo

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  10. Perfectly written...I too wish things could have been different for all of us, but I'm thankful to have those who understand to walk this path with ((hugs))

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  11. I'm here from PYHO, and I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine having to be a part of that club, but I'm grateful for you that the support exists....

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  12. I'm sorry for your loss, but am glad that you have the support you need.

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  13. i'm crying! so sorry~!:( i wish i could find the words to say but i cannot...sometimes silence is better....u are truly powerful...thank you

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  14. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

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  15. Yes, this awful, awful club. I love all you ladies, but sure wish I wasn't a member. Thinking of you! xx

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  16. What a sad post. Very well said though.

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  17. I'm here from PYHO and I, too, am a member of this club. My was miscarriage in July 2009.

    I wish it weren't so secret either because connection and support is so essential.

    I'm so very, very sorry about your son.

    xoxox

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  18. I joined the BLM club Nov. 4. 2004...hugs to you!

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  19. I'm not a member of your club, but my heart breaks for all the mothers who are. Very beautifully written.

    Visiting from PYHO

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  20. I know that club. I didn't volunteer to be a member. It broke my heart. Knowing I will see my little Gracie again - well, it gives me so much hope. I dwell on that instead.

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  21. I stumbled upon your blog and I'm very sorry for your loss. I am not a member of your club,I am however a member of another loss club..I recently lost a brother to suicide..I can feel the pain you are going through and I wish you luck in the future. Keep up the writing, I think it helps! Peace.

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  22. I'm dropping in from Fibro. I'm sorry to learn of your loss. My mother was a member of this club, and I watched her as a young girl dealing with this while trying to be my mom.

    In time, I hope you will heal.

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  23. I'm terribly sorry for your loss.

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  24. Stopping by from the fibro rewind.

    So sorry to hear of your loss - :(

    xo
    babymama
    avagracescloset

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  25. I'm so sorry that you found your community via such loss. Beautiful, sad post.

    Thanks for REwinding at the Fibro.

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  26. I remember this post. Made me so sad the first time I read it and still brings tears to my eyes.

    Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.

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  27. Thank heavens for the support of others who understand, but it goes without saying that the price is far far too high.

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  28. Here from last week's rewind .

    I am sorry for the loss of your son.

    I wish I wasn't a member of this club either.
    Though the silver lining if you can call it that is the connections and support we can get from within the club. Yes, it is a high price.
    I've visited your blog before.
    Take care.

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