Friday, 18 November 2011

Random Crying Jags

So here's a pregnancy symptom I didn't have last time around.

Random crying jags.

I thought my days of randomly crying in public were over but apparently I was wrong. It's the strangest thing. I can be doing anything, riding the bus, watching tv, walking down the street, or even sitting on the toilet. Sometimes I've allowed my mind to wander to dangerous places... thinking about my son, or even worse, dreaming about this new pregnancy having a good outcome. Sometimes I'm not thinking about anything related to pregnancy or pregnancy loss. Just doing normal day to day things and BAM, the tears start.

Mostly they don't last long and mostly I can hold them back if I'm in public, but still it's driving me crazy. I'm sure it's just those lovely pregnancy hormones at work. The same ones that are making me tired and giving me that nausea that assures me I am in fact pregnant. But this one is making me feel a bit crazy.

I'm not sure if maybe it's just my fear and anxiety bursting through, or something else. But I wish it would stop. Because the tears and crying jags remind me of life shortly after losing my son. When I had no control over my emotions. When I was a slave to them. And I don't want to have to go back there,,,,, ever again.

I guess that's all for today, apologies for being brief and yet all over the place at the same time. What a mess I am.


  1. It's the estrogen :( It will balance out soon, I hope. I get the weepies too, and it doesn't help with all those darn holiday commercials that don't need the hormonal help.

    You may be a mess, but at least you are a mess for a happy reason :)

  2. I hear you on the crying. I'm 13 weeks pg with a singleton after losing my IVF twin boys in February. I still haven't stopped crying which is a completely different pregnancy symptom compared to last time. I'm a mess too. Hopefully we'll get better soon!

  3. Ugh, those hormones! So, not fun! It must also be intense to be pregnant again after all you've been through. Sorry if this is obvious and you're doing this already, but are you seeing a therapist? It might be good to make sure you have enough support through this. I know we all think we'll be perfectly happy once we finally have hope of a take home baby, but I guess it's much more complicated and unpredictable than that. Sounds like you're well aware of that, though. I'm only going off of what I've heard, never having had a BFP myself...

    Take care of and be kind to yourself! Wishing you all the best!!!

  4. I totally had the random crying jags with my first pregnancy (the twins). I know it's normal, but definitely would bring up a lot more for me if it happens during our next pregnancy. Hugs to you, mama...

  5. I had those crying spells when I was pregnant with our third child (our first born alive) it was annoying and embarrassing but somehow I survived it all. Hugs to you!

  6. I cry all the time. I figure it comes with the PGAL territory, lol. :)

  7. You're a girl..... You're normal.

  8. I found those sudden tears of emotion so hard to deal with during my pregnancies. You have so many emotions and hormones in balance... and are so brave. Take each day as it come xoxo