Thursday, 17 May 2012

So Close,,,,

I had another scan this week and all is going well with Frostina. I've been so worried about her lately so this was a huge relief. I'm finding these last few weeks very difficult. She is still in a funny position, transverse and breech. This means her head is above my left hip bone and her feet are near her head. One in front of her face and one behind it. My doctor isn't sure how she managed that, he called her an acrobat.

He did the measurements and said she is growing well. She's estimated to be over 5 pounds at this point which is up a over a pound from two weeks ago. I've gained 3 pounds since 2 weeks ago so it's nice to see that at least one of those went to her. She still has a fat belly which I love. He spent some time checking out her internal organs and I got to watch her doing some practice breathing. Not that I could really tell what I was looking at, but I took his word for it.

He also mentioned that she has a full head of hair. I found this fact interesting since my son was born completely bald. When I called to tell The Hubby he laughed. He said, "She's got a fat belly and lots of hair,,, she must get that from me." I got a good laugh out of that one too.

We're so close and yet so far away. I just don't want a repeat of last time, when everything was taken from us at 36 weeks.

Kind of like that Charlie Brown cartoon where he runs to kick the football and Lucy takes it away at the last minute and he ends kicking the air and falling on his back. I feel like that. Like I'm getting ready to run at the football again for a kick and hoping Lucy doesn't take it away at the last minute. I need to kick that football this time, to feel my foot make contact and watch it fly into the air. Like Charlie Brown, I am trying to have faith that Lucy will fulfil her promise this time, but I won't know for sure until I start running towards it.

Lucky for me, my doctor is doing his best to reassure me at every turn. I will be monitored weekly from here. Scan this week, appointment next week where we do some blood and urine tests and also get a peek at our little girl. Then a scan the week after. And then an appointment and a delivery the week after that.

If you were counting those weeks you will realize what I did,,,, only 3 weeks to go. Yikes!

Three weeks until our delivery date. It hardly seems real. I think that's mostly due to the fact that I rarely allow my mind to go there. To that place where she is born healthy and alive and we get to take her home. I mostly force my mind to stay in the now. I allow myself to plan the next few weeks from a practical perspective and try to keep it at that.

Trying not to get my hopes up too much. As if that would really protect me if things went wrong. As if I have some sort of control over things. As if!


12 comments:

  1. Thinking of you over these last few weeks... you're doing everything you can do and great to hear that you're getting extra TLC and appts. Hang in there... love always xoxo

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  2. So glad you keep having wonderful doctor appt.'s...I know that is what got me through those last couple of weeks. Thinking of you in these final weeks

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  3. Only 3 weeks...you can do it! Sending you lots of strength as you finish out your pregnancy. Frostina will be in your arms before you know it.

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  4. The final 3 or 4 weeks were the toughest for me as well. Because you're so close you can taste it, yet it's so far away all at the same time.

    Thinking of you + that chubby bellied Frostina!

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  5. Sending good vibes your way! Hold steady.

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  6. Thinking of you guys in your final weeks!

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  7. Frostina sounds super cute :)

    And, you totally put your finger on how I feel, too - like Charlie Brown deciding whether to wind up and have faith and run full speed into what feels like a trap, while everyone else seems to think this is the real thing no doubt...

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  8. I think you're smart to stay in the now. And I am hoping hoping for the day when your blog vanishes for a few days because you are holding your beautiful healthy baby in your arms.

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  9. Thinking of u. I am also learning to give up control. There's not much we can do now but hope and pray.

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  10. Sending thoughts your way & hope that you find the continued strength to get through until you're able to hold beautiful Frostina in your arms. I know it can be hard at times given the past but try to hold tight to hope and all the joy that you'll soon be experiencing with Frostina ((hugs))

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  11. Wow...3weeks...so close it hard not to strum fingers on belly and wait for opening time before a big sale...

    It's weird how slow the time goes because we just want to be on the other side of pregnancy with a healthy alive baby and at the same time how fast the time goes. You only have 3 weeks! the longest and shortest 3 weeks ever! I am 22 weeks and I just think...wow I can't believe I am already here and at the same time I'm like hurry up and cook and get her out you know?

    I am so glad every thing looks so wonderful for your little one.

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  12. It must be emotionally difficult, but you and your husband have done a wonderful job balancing the hope with the memories. Have been following this pregnancy throughout, and continue to send prayers and positive thoughts your way. Cannot wait to hear what you (legally) name Frostina...

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