Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Four AM Freakout

I wake up and check the clock (as you do), it's 4am. I roll over to go back to sleep. A dull pain shoots through my stomach and back. I try and ignore it but the dull pain will just not go away. I figure I must have been sleeping in a funny position so I roll over again in an effort to get comfortable.

Ouch. OK, wow, this must be why I woke up at 4am. Hmm, if I can just roll over again maybe the pain will go away. Nope, that's not working either,,, I'm really in pain. I roll over to wake the hubby but of course he's not there because he's away on business. So I'm home alone with these dull achey pains in my upper stomach and back.

Keeping calm would have been advisable, but it's 4am and I'm home alone so of course I start to freak out.
  • Maybe my appendix is bursting.
  • Maybe I have some sort of ulcer. 
  • Maybe the ulcer has made a hole in my stomach and the acid is leaking all over my other organs. - I told you I was freaking out. 
Then it hits me.... what if I have to be rushed to the hospital and need surgery? Our embryo transfer is supposed to be next week.
  • What if I can't fly after surgery?- In my head I've had my appendix taken out already. 
  • What if we have to cancel this cycle due to this pain? 
  • What if it ruins everything? 
By this time I'm really freaking out. Breathing heavy. Heart rate up. I get up and go to the bathroom hoping that may help things out. Nope, but I was lightheaded walking there and back.
  • Is that another symptom or am I just dizzy from hyperventilating? 
  • What if I pass out? 
  • I'm home alone, who will find my body? Then I remember that my personal trainer is set to come over at 9:30 so at least if I fall down and can't get up there will be someone coming over who can call 999 (that's 911 for you Americans). 
I am now in full freak out mode. The pain is moving around a bit, from my stomach to my side to my back. I've never experienced anything like it. What is going on with me? I finally gather enough sense to call NHS Direct which is a 24 hour line where you can call and speak to a nurse. Amazingly they called me back within 10 minutes. The nurse asked me a bunch of questions about my symptoms and decided I must have some kind of virus and told me to stay in bed and drink plenty of fluids.

Not satisfied with that I rang my doctor's office and made an appointment for 10am. At my appointment I explained everything to the doctor including my upcoming IVF cycle and all the rest. She knows my history and what happened to my son so she understands just how sensitive and stressful this cycle is for me. She did a good exam and asked me a bunch of questions as well. By this time I had taken some ibuprofen and the pain was gone.

Her conclusion?
  • My appendix isn't bursting. 
  • I don't have an ulcer and therefore said ulcer is not burning a hole in my stomach causing the acid to leak over all my organs. 
  • This pain is not being caused by all the hormones I'm injecting. 
  • She is sure that any dizziness I had was due to freaking out and hyperventilating. 
  • This issue shouldn't affect my ability to fly and I will be able to go ahead with the embryo transfer next week. 
So what's wrong with me? Well she said it could be gallstones but based on her exam and my general description of the pain (and the fact that it went away so easily with ibuprofen) that's probably not it. She thinks it's a combination of stress and the Indian food I had for dinner last night.

I really should have figured it out myself. They hubby hates Indian food so when he goes away I sometimes order my favorite curry to be delivered. It's a bit of a treat which I don't have very often. I've got a sensitive stomach and I usually pay for the curry dinner with heartburn and a bit of an upset tummy. So combine this with the fact that I've got a lot on my mind (wow, understatement of the year) and you've got a recipe for total abdominal meltdown.

So I'm not dying,,, I just need to lay off the Indian food. Her advice was to take it easy and try to relax. If only I could figure out how to manage that one. She also advised bland foods and lots of water. If I have any more pain then I need to come back, but she seems to think this is a one-off type of thing. I hope she's right because I've already got too much to worry about.

Why do these things always happen at 4am??

Pouring my heart out with Shell over at Things I Can't Say.


  1. I find between 2am and 4am to be the worst. Everything seems 100 times worse when it happens in those lonely hours. I'm thinking of you and glad it was nothing serious.

  2. Oh goodness, I'm so glad I'm not the only one who freaks out like this and imagines every possible scenario. Glad you are ok. x

  3. So sorry you had to go through that! Glad it doesn't sound like anything serious and you can go ahead with your plans. I hate when things happen in the middle of the's the worst.

  4. Glad that you are feeling better! Keeping my fingers crossed that there are no more scary happenings between now and next week.

    Big hugs,

  5. Glad everything is okay. I've tried Indian food and I will never touch it again! My stomach doesn't agree with it.

  6. Those are the same kinds of thoughts I get when I feel any kind of pain in my body. I go straight to the worse case scenario, can't help it. I was bad before losing Addi and now, well the doctor's office is on speed dial. Glad it was just the food. You are not alone in these crazy freak outs, I am right there with you. Oh and did they really tell you to relax?!? I HATE that like if you could "just relax" you would have done it long ago.

  7. I often wonder why things hit so early in the morning (or the middle of the night)

  8. This post totally made me laugh because we are so much alike! I do the same thing, imagine every doomsday outcome in my head, over analyse, etc... This week I got some really bad bug bites and had to go to the doc, he perscribed me antibiotics but I refused to take them because I was so worried that they would mess up this months IVF since I'd still be taking them when I started my meds! I wonder what fertiles worry about??...

  9. Things feel worse and more stressful in the middle of the night- especially when you are alone. I'm glad you were okay.

  10. I wake up sometimes in the early am with freakouts as well. Glad everything is ok.

  11. RELAX, HA! I just love getting told to just relax. Like its so easy after what we've been through, especially with what your going through right now. How can we possibly relax?
    I have also had so many of these freak out moments already and pretty sure they aren't going away anytime soon either.

  12. Oh, your freak out sounds SO familiar to me. And they always seem to happen at 3 or 4 in the morning. Somehow, everything is worse then. So glad you're ok.

    I hope it's smooth sailing to transfer for you!

  13. I really really hope the transfer is a roaring success. Xxx

  14. I've had those middle of the night freak outs too :) I always get some tired intern on the phone who basically says take two chill pills and don't call me in the morning, you crazy lady. You never know, though, it could have been OHSS or something. It's always better to be safe than sorry.

  15. The ulcer one is lol. Literally lol at my table at that one.

    Steady as she goes Momma. Steady as she goes.

  16. It is easy to worry and over react. We have had the most unlikely worst thing happen to our baby's. Now we know unlikely awful things can happen to us. It can be scary. Glad you are ok.

  17. Gallstones are painful! I'm just like you and overreact to the twinges in my body. I have (on several occasions) woke my husband up in the middle of the night and announced that I was dying. This is why he keeps a stethoscope by the bed so he can listen to whatever and tell me to go back to bed. I'm happy your doctor was kind and sympathetic. And I'm super happy nothing is seriously wrong, like your appendix!

  18. Found your blog through PYHO and I wanted to tell you I read your "about me" page after reading this post. I couldn't help but cry for you. I hope that I don't upset you, but your son was born on my birthday and my heart broke.

    I know how you feel about waking up in the middle of night with strange pains and start thinking the worst. I did that once and ended up going to the ER. It turned out to be nothing but stomach problems. Glad to hear you're ok and that you'll still be taking your trip.

  19. Glad you're okay. Such a scary thing to go through when you're alone.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I look forward to following you along this journey.

    ICLW #123

  20. Yikes! (2.38am is my usual freak out time)

    Best remedy - Deep breaths and lay off the Indian food, mkay?

  21. Seem like it always happens in the middle of the night. TG for on call services!!

  22. Hi Found you on Blow your own blog horn! Why is it that these things happen not only at 4am? But when you are alone!!!