Monday, 23 May 2011

Too Many Balls in The Air

Seriously! Could I just get one thing settled please???

I have too much going on right now and it's driving me absolutely nuts.

Here are the balls I'm juggling at the moment.
  1. Grieving my son (this one is a biggie).
  2. Having to move to a new flat.
  3. Our upcoming Egg Donor IVF cycle.
  4. Planning a trip home to see the family.
  5. My hubby's potential new job role.
  6. All the rest of normal life stuff.
Here's where I sit with all of them.
  1. Grief- well that's an ongoing one which I don't expect to be settled anytime soon.
  2. Moving- I swear this one is going to be the death of me. I thought we had it all sorted and now it appears it may all fall through. There are some terms on the lease that we are having trouble agreeing to. I thought this one was all settled,,,,,, but it's not. I have tons to do to prepare for this move. But I can't do any of it until we are sure where we're going and when. We have to be out of this place in early July so I'm starting to panic slightly. 
  3. The cycle- this one is moving forward well. We have been checking the database and hope to find our perfect donor soon. Thanks for all the advice I got on this one. The big thing up in the air with this one is the dates. You see, we can't make other plans until we know exactly when this will all happen. So  we're in this crazy limbo where we want to make plans but we can't. I hate limbo. 
  4. Trip home- was planned for late July, but may have to be pushed back if we are in the middle of our donor egg cycle. Or not if we're not. I need to book tickets in advance in order to avoid paying a fortune, but I can't. And it's driving me crazy.
  5. Hubby's job- no he's not changing companies or anything. But he may be given a slightly bigger role than he currently has. If he gets it then it will involve more travel, but to some pretty cool places that I can tag along to. This is good news, but it adds stress. It hasn't officially happened yet,,,, but it might,,, or it might not. So for now it's just another ball to juggle. 
  6. Normal life- well let's see, there is no food in the house. I haven't worked out in weeks. My house is a complete mess. I have a million things on my to do list. So pretty  much I've dropped this ball already.
So pretty much my whole life is in limbo right now. I am not a very good juggler and at times I feel like throwing all the balls on the floor and screaming until someone else picks them up.


Can we just get one thing settled???



  1. These issues are big, they are happening in your world and it's sometimes best to forget about the outside world for a while to get your head around the things that really matter. We can only take so much. You need to take care.

    CJ xx

  2. I think every kind of stress feels all the more unmanageable when it's coupled with grief. I hope that you're able to slightly compartmentalize these things and maybe freak out about them individually instead of all at once. Wishing you luck.

  3. No doubt, that IS a lot of balls being juggled. Grieving your son is non-negotiable, and will color all else. Going forward with the IVF cycle is between you and your husband, so if you've decided it's the right step and you want it to start as soon as possible, that stays top of the list.

    The move will or won't happen, and you may need to store up a little energy; if the new place falls through, it may mean putting stuff in storage and living in a hotel or 'visiting' a series of friends for a few weeks (if you can't negotiate an extension on your current place). Not pleasant, but I'm hoping you have friends who will help you out with a place to stay and/or moving help.

    For your own sake, I'm praying for things to fall into place. In the meantime, take care of yourself. Hang in there...

  4. I feel ya there! Our crazy hockey lifestyle leaves no sense of "normal". Almost everythign is last minute, and there's always a million things going on at one time, and we pretty much have no control of any of them. I thought having a baby was at least ONE thing I could control.. which has proven me wrong as well. UGH!

    It does sound like you've got a lot of exciting things going for you though. Try looking only at the positives instead of the negatives- cool trips (and more $?) instead of the added stress with your hubby's possible promotion, a nice new home to experience vs. the stress of moving, the potential little one you hopefully get out of your IVF cycle vs. the stress and uncertainty of it all, etc. Not saying you aren't already doing this, but I find for me it helps a lot of times if I step back and cross out all the negatives and make sure I'm only focusing on the positives. Things will fall into place :) <3

  5. I'm sorry that so much is overtaking you right now. I can relate. As you might have already thought....just take in what you can control and work on that. Soon you'll see that things will start moving and ease up on you.


  6. ugh, sounds crazy stressful for sure! Hopefully things will all fall into place soon.
    Thinking of you

  7. Hi - I am asking for fellow bloggers to visit my site in hopes that we can find a match for a young girl that desperately needs a bone marrow transplant. Would be great if you could visit today too. Thank you. Kelly
    I've Become My Mother
    I've Become My Mother facebook

  8. so sorry for your loss...ive gone through 2 miscarriages. although all miscarriages are rough, mine were at the beginning of my pregnancies. i cant even imagine being full term :( my heart goes out to you

  9. You know what? Pretty soon this will all be sorted. Seriously. Fingers crossed for you.

  10. Holding patterns make me insane. All of your items are so interwoven.

    Go for a run, you know it is the only way to spend time and never regret it since it will change your outlook. Of course, the last time I ran was 1972, so do as I say, not as I do.

  11. You have so much that you are going through right now! Hang in there!

  12. sister in law waits for 12 years to get another child.hownlong had you been waiting for the child.I lost my father when I was 19 .the way I deal with that was to let go and think that no point in being dwelled in sadness because he won't come back and he is not going to raise from his think your first priority now is to search for the right therapist to heal your grief first.and I am sure every other balls can be juggled more easily after you gain your energy back.grief takes all energy out ofnyou and I understand how hard othernthings can be fornyou when u have to deal withbgrief at the background cause I had been there.

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