Monday, 4 April 2011

What? What? In the Butt!

*Title of this post comes from a very silly song. I saw the music video on you-tube once and it make me laugh. Now I not laughing so much.

I swear, when you begin fertility treatments there really is no more dignity.

Once I got married I figured that no other man would have the chance to gaze upon my lovely lady bits. Little did I know that when you can't get pregnant the old fashioned way, your entire body is fair game. I have lost count of the amount of times I've had to strip from the waist down and be poked and prodded,,, and never in a good way.

I get it, I really do. The part that isn't working right is down there so they have to look around if you want them to help you. It's just that sometimes I miss being that shy modest girl of years past. The one who was too embarrassed to get a bikini wax. Nowadays I have no problem stripping down for these kinds of things, even when heavily pregnant. So many people have already see it I figure what's one more?

But through all of the treatments, and the tests, and my pregnancy, and my son dying, and my emergency c-section, I had one small part of me that remained untouched. It wasn't much, but I treasured it because it was the only thing I had left.

As of tomorrow, the last barrier will broken.

I have to have and HSG, which for those of you not up with all the current medical abbreviations means getting my tubes checked. I had this done about 10 years ago when I first had trouble getting pregnant. Basically they shoot dye into your tubes and watch to make sure they are not blocked and don't have any leaks. My doctor wants me to have this done before we start the donor egg IVF cycle. He says that if my tubes were damaged in any way by my c-section then it could cause problems in future pregnancies. This procedure is quite painful and I am not looking forward to it. But I want a baby more than anything so I will do it.

The clinic here in London sends me a packet of info regarding the procedure. In this packet is a prescription for antibiotics. There is always a slight chance of infection when they put tubes up past your cervix so this is a precautionary measure. No problem! I take the slip to the pharmacy to get the prescription filled. Imagine my shock when I go back to pick up the medications. In addition to the oral antibiotics there is also one in suppository form.

What what???? I have to stick it up my butt???

High into the rectum according to the directions. Oh, and I am supposed to avoid alcohol while taking this. Seriously??? If I've gotta stick something high into my rectum I think I may need a drink first!


Did you hear that? That's the walls protecting the last of my dignity being knocked down.

Ugh! I am so not looking forward to tomorrow.

Oh, and if any of you want a good laugh, here's the video of the song that inspired the title to this post. It's very silly and camp, but if you're at work you may want to wait until you get home before you watch it.


  1. Eddie Murphy did it first.

    But Samwell's is nice too!

  2. my husband actually has been doing the "butt" dance since right around the time this came out! It's quite comical lol

  3. wow. I don't know what else to say. lol
    Thanks for sharing the forbidden zone on a funny video. Sorry that your final zone un-touched will be no longer left alone.
    props for being so strong and willing.

  4. haha. Poor you and your butt. :)

  5. What's important is that you make that baby...all butt jokes aside. Really trying not to giggle here but all that counts is that you have a positive outlook on the procedure.

    Keeping good thoughts,


  6. Eeeek! (the bad kind of eeek, of course).

    What it be SUPER weird to have your husband do it? Would he? Hahaha. I hate that you have to do all this just for a little babe. :(

    Crappy! hahaha. No pun intended. Okay, maybe I did intend it. ;)

  7. Oh my word. I have to link you to this post I wrote ages ago (before pregnancy). It's the story of how I learned what a suppository is.

  8. Really hoping the procedure goes well for you. I had an HSG done in January and it was relatively painless - but they did give me valium beforehand. (I also only had oral antibiotics, I was thinking the suppositories must be some crazy british protocol but then I thought it was an american fertility clinic prescribing your meds, so who knows?) (Or maybe now come to think of it since you're getting the procedure done over there, it was a British prescription?) I also took 600 mg of ibuprofen beforehand as well...

    Regardless, really, really, really hoping it's not as painful for you as you remember, that it goes seamlessly and easily, and is one more step forward on the path to bringing home a baby.

  9. Oh no... the things we go through !! I guess one way of thinking about it is that it brings you one step closer to your dream... hope it goes OK :)) FXd for you xoxo

  10. LOL... my butt was invaded the enema that was given (prior to the C-section). I was feeling so horrible and naked and cold.

    My bowels ensured that they made the last breach in the dress-down for this.

    Good Luck to you...

  11. I've had pain-killing suppositories and hormone suppositories too, but the worst thing was when the ob-gyn registrar stuck his finger up my bum to check muscle strength following vaginal/anal repair (serious tear caused by the birth of my son Nipper). Really don't fancy having that done again!

  12. Well good luck with all of that! I hope you had fun with the suppository - if my experience is anything to go by, it won't be your last. Ha! I hope you have success with the egg donor. You have certainly been through the wringer and my heart bleeds for your loss :-( Thanks for Rewinding x

  13. Hello there, jeezy peeps, the things we do for love.... hope things are smoother for you now and that it will all work out for you.