A few days ago I posted about my plans for the future. I was a bit nervous about taking steps forward as I've grown comfortable in this new world I've created for myself. But I took a chance and it paid off.
I received an email from the school where I used to volunteer and they are happy to have me back. In fact they used the word "excited" to have me back. Excited?? Wow! That makes me feel really special, especially since I'm just a volunteer, not a paid member of staff. So I'm really looking forward to going back sometime very soon.
The school only recently told the students about what happened to my baby boy. I can't imagine that was an easy thing to tell the children. I've been working with them for the past 4 years so they know me pretty well. They are in year 6 (the equivilant of 6th grade in the US) this year so they're old enough to understand what's going on.
I know they will have lots of questions for me and I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for what to say and how to hold it together. The last thing I want to do is break down sobbing in front of them. But I might do that so I've also got to be prepared for that.
But I'm excited. I really miss them and can't wait to go back and see how big they've all gotten. I haven't seen them since last June.
*On a completely unrelated side note- I've recently noticed some traffic coming from facebook. As I don't have a facebook page set up for this blog I'm super curious as to where it's coming from. So if you're here via a facebook post would you mind leaving a comment to share how you found me??? Thanks!
Dealing with the loss of a child is never easy, but it's even more difficult when you are an expat living far from home. Life will never be "normal" again and so now the challenge is to find my new normal. I am now back in the USA and the proud parent of two daughters, born using two different egg donors. "Frostina" and "Olea" are the loves of my life and I feel so grateful for the amazing women who donated their eggs and made my family possible.
I'm visiting your blog for the first time and have just read your story too. First of all, I'm so saddened by what has happened. I'm not sure how I'd do it. Secondly, I'm amazed by your positive spirit and want to wish you all the best as you go back to your volunteer position. Who wouldn't want to have you back when you are so amazing? xx
ReplyDeleteI get facebook traffic as well and I don't advertise, but other mama's do and I think people see a comment they are interested in reading more about the person and then blammo they found your blog. I somehow have 22 followers and have never listed my blog anywhere or solicited for readership. They just magically found me! Oh and yeah! for the school being excited for your return!
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you. Perhaps you could wear a locket with his picture in that day.. my living children so love looking at photos of their baby brother and it brings me comfort that in this way, they can see his face..
ReplyDeleteHello, that sounds wonderful, congratulations! Today is my first visit to your blog and I consider it a poignant day to find it, as we are remembering the 7th anniversary today of the loss of our firstborn. Hmm. Interesting old universe.
ReplyDeleteYour facebook traffic could be coming from a link share that someone has put on their wall? That's pretty cool.
That's both exciting and scary I imagine. I haven't got any advice other than to say that kids are surprisingly kind and perceptive sometimes. I hope it goes well for you going back into the classroom. And I've no idea about facebook sorry. It wasn't me ;)
ReplyDeleteI'd be excited if you were coming back to my school. The children will surprise you with their insights, I think. So happy for you. x
ReplyDeleteHello - This is a beautiful blog with a very sad story at its heart. I'm unable to have children either. Never been pregnant and IVF failed to get me there.I cannot empathise on losing a baby during pregnancy, though. My mom lost her son in his early thirties. I know how that felt for us all.
ReplyDeleteI'm a new follower from the hop - linking in from the weekend creation blog hop too - do pop by and share with us. wordsinsync.blogspot.com Shah. X
I'm visiting today from the weekend wander & your story completely touched me. When I am done with the tears I am going to come back & read more, can't wait!!
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I am sure they will have questions, but they will also have love that might be just what you need. Every step is one step closer to healing as much as possible. :) you are such a brave, strong woman.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for going back, sounds like you were very loved there! Good luck with the kids. You are one strong woman!
ReplyDeleteI believe that this will be easier than you imagined... Facing our fear usually is.
ReplyDeleteYes, they are EXCITED. :D You are worth this... enjoy it.
Children amaze me with their perception, their wisdom and their honesty!!! I am sure 'your kids' will bless you abundantly on your return to the classroom. In my thoughts & prayers, TK xx
ReplyDeleteI just read your comment on my blog and wanted to come back and give you a HUGE hug. I am so, so sorry. Keeping you in my thoughts tonight and wishing I could do more xxx
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