Today my amazing and fabulous husband posted his feelings about our daughter's upcoming birth on his facebook page. I am 36 weeks pregnant and we are one week away from her delivery date. Frostina has officially outlived her brother now, a fact that is both joyful and bittersweet. We're thrilled for her and yet so desperately sad that things didn't work out for him.
Reading his words today touched me so much for so many reasons. I am removing the names and sharing it with all of you because I think it's such an important reminder that husbands lose babies too. So much focus is on the women and how we're doing. People want to know how we're coping and often the men are pushed aside and forgotten.
We should never forget that men grieve as much as we do. They feel the loss just as much as we do. There is a club of Baby Loss Dads out there who deserve as much support and love as we Baby Loss Moms get. So without any further chatter from me. Here's what was on The Hubby's mind today.
What's
on my mind.....1 thing....1 WEEK TO GO!!! After more than 10 years
trying, disappointments, medical opinions from LA to SF to London and
Washington, to the ultimate joy of my wife getting pregnant on xmas eve
2009 and then the ultimate loss of our son, through this 2 year journey
of grief followed by new hope........we are down to 1 WEEK.....to meet
and hold our little girl.
AWE!!!!! So touching to hear our men speak their minds. Hugs~
ReplyDeleteFelicia
That post says so much...it is nice when they are able to show their emotions. So excited you are on your final countdown. Hoping the next couple of days go very quickly for you!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is beautiful! It brought tears to my eyes to read your husband's status.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful expression of heartache, new HOPE and so much LOVE!
ReplyDeleteWow...tears...happy tears.
ReplyDeleteI think men feel it just as acutely as us, the loss, grief, nervousness...all of it, they are just way better at hiding it.
it is so hard...for all of us...but i know it is different for men. I asked my husband the other day if he ever grieved because sometimes I feel so alone with it. He never talks about Camille with me. It is HARD.
ReplyDeleteHe said "yes, I looked at her pictures the other day" It isn't a big statement but it shows that he does think of her and misses her too. I am so glad your husband has the ability to communicate his sadness and hope.
Oh, that's beautiful. Men grieve so differently from women, it's important to remember they hurt too.
ReplyDeleteHolding my breath for both of you.
ReplyDeletexo
Beautiful. I know my husband loves how supported I am, but I can't help and wish he had the same because I see the hurt in his eyes when friends don't comfort him the way they comfort me. These husbands of ours are quite extraordinary and quite possibly the best fathers on the planet to both their babies!
ReplyDeleteWhat you said is so true. I think in a way they have a tougher job to do - to support their emotional wives, hold on to the optimism and yet not be able to express their grief, fearing that it might break us again. I have seen my husband to try to absorb all my pain and put on a hopeful face, always.
ReplyDeleteand the facebook post is indeed heart touching!
Praying for you all..
Oh that's so beautiful. Daddies do hurt, too, and his love and sorrow are both so plain here, as is his hope. And oh, I want this to come out right for you both.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful words... you can hear the love for you and your kids in his words. Thinking of you all over the coming week and I've nominated you for a Blog Award... you've been with me through thick and thin and want to thank you for all your love and support in this little way...
ReplyDeletehttp://newyearmum.blogspot.com.au/2012/06/awards-another-fun-distraction-in-my.html
Love to you always xoxo
Wow. That is so precious. I'm glad you posted it for us to see. Looking forward to next week for you!
ReplyDeleteYes dads grieve too. Just yesterday an Italian footballer gave the bad news that his baby's heart had stopped beating. I went to his FB page to say how sorry I was. I read a few comments. A dad said that a year ago he and his wife had lost their baby. They were now expecting their baby rainbow. He kept saying .... stay very close to your partner because they go through a really rough time. I want to shout through the computer.... WHAT ABOUT YOU....???? WASN'T IT YOUR CHILD??? DIDN'T YOU LOSE IT TOO!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy husband suffered and still does. He has supported me SO much. I see the pain in his eyes even though he doesn't tell me how much he's hurting.
Praying for you all! All four of you!!!
hugs
Maria
xxxxx
So touching! I wish you all the best in your delivery!
ReplyDelete:) So beautiful. So much hope for you. So thrilled she'll be here so soon. :)
ReplyDelete