Wednesday 14 December 2011

Done With The Meds

Last night I "shot the pooper" for the last time. So as of today I am officially off the IVF hormones. I am done with needles and suppositories and all the crazy mood swings that go along with the hormones contained within them.

Wait, I'm pregnant right?? Right, so the crazy hormonal mood swings will most likely continue. But at least they will be due to my own crazy hormones and not due to the extra ones I've been pumping through my body.

Surprisingly I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Mostly I'm relieved. Keeping the schedule of injections and all the rest of it is stressful. It will be nice to live my life without that constant fear that I will miss a dose and jeopardize everything.

I can't tell you how many times I had to wrack my brain to make sure I had indeed done my injection that day. It's a stress that I no longer have to worry about.

It does feel strange though. I've been digging into my bag-o-meds on a daily basis since August,,, and that's just the meds for this cycle. So it will be a huge relief to not have to bother with it all.

It also means I'm approaching my second trimester. A fact that seems amazing to me. How has it already been that long? Not that it seems like yesterday when I got my first positive test, but it's already been almost 3 months? Really??? I'm approaching my second trimester? Wow, that denial thing I'm doing is working really well.I seem to have lost all sense of passing time.

I am slightly scared to be off all the meds though. It's my understanding that they have you take the hormones after the transfer to help your body keep the pregnancy going. Obviously I'm no doctor and I'm sure I'm not saying it quite right, but you get what I mean. There is a part of me that has felt a bit more secure knowing I was taking a bit of extra hormones to keep my little Frosty on board. Now that I'm off the hormones I have to depend on my own body to do the same thing.

I know that pregnancy is unpredictable and the hormones wouldn't have kept anything from happening if that is what was meant to be. But the extra medication feels like a bit of a security blanket. There is a small part of me that wonders what harm would come if I just took the hormones for an extra day or two. Or an extra week?

As tempting as it may seem, I will not be taking my medication beyond what my Doctor has prescribed. I don't know if it would be harmful to take the hormones after the recommended date. Maybe they have you stop now because it would be bad to continue. The last thing I want is to do anything to cause harm to Frosty.

The other reason I won't take the hormones past today is because at some point I've got to go off them. I suspect I will be a bit scared whenever that day is. So no matter if it's today, or two days from now I've still got to do it. A leap of faith if you will. Trusting that my body will start doing it's job without help from supplemental progesterone and estrogen. Trusting that this time things will end well. Now that's a tall order isn't it??

16 comments:

  1. Day by day ... and here you are heading into the second trimester ... yay you! How can you not feel a little nervous, its the Mom in you being a Mother Hen for Frosty ;)
    Enjoy the glow, settle into the holiday season ... what a difference a year makes!!!

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  2. 2nd trimester, that is so exciting! I went off Metformin at 12 weeks and I too was tempted to "keep on taking it". Just in case.

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  3. I felt like this too with my progesterone, so I can only imagine how heavily this is weighing on you. And the the 2nd tri? Wow! One day at a time.

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  4. I felt like this too with my progesterone, so I can only imagine how heavily this is weighing on you. And the the 2nd tri? Wow! One day at a time.

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  5. The placenta takes over at around 9 weeks, so the progesterone is no longer needed. It's very scary to stop the meds, though. I remember being freaked out of my mind. So happy to read that you are cozying right up to the second trimester. YEAH!
    Augusta

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  6. I was really worried to stop too, well except the awful steroids, those I gladly stopped! I hope you feel alot better soon between dropping the meds and making it into the second tri!!

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  7. Hi! I am a few days ahead of you and I stopped my meds at 11w1d. It is really scary but it is so nice not to be attached to the medication schedule!

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  8. Thinking of you as you move into the next phase.. xo

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  9. I think anytime something is "working" we will be scared of things not working...mixed emotions all the way around. I don't blame you for having mixed emotions for stopping, but I have to believe if your doctor thought you needed to continue he wouldn't take any chances with you or anyone. Glad to hear all is well with Frosty :)

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  10. I started 13wk today and because of low placenta I have to continue using progesterone suppositories until week 17. It becomes a daily habit and it's hard to get rid off a habit. Day by day is the only way. Each day is a miracle. Kisses to Frosty.

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  11. Congrats on making it through to the second trimester! Me too! It is scary to let go of the meds, but now is when mother nature takes over and we just have to trust that our bodies know what they are doing. (And if not there are plenty of checkups for the doc to give more meds if nec, look at it that way!!)

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  12. So understand your post. I had a very hard time stopping progesterone shots with my Leia. I think I ended up going about 2 weeks past the time I had to take them but my OB/GYN said it was okay. I hope all continues to go well for you with the pregnancy.

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  13. I just stumbled upon your blog and I am now your newest follower. I so appreciate your honesty. I will send you happy baby vibes.



    Meredith From A Mother Seeking Come find me on my blog, A Mother Seeking...

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  14. Please email me! I have a question about your blog :)
    HeatherVonsj@gmail.com

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  15. Yay! I'm done too. It definitely feels good to be done with the meds. Scary, yes, but also freeing. Congrats!

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  16. It is scary - I also did not like the day that we graduated from seeing the ivf doctor to the ob. I am sending you all the good baby vibes that I can. Take care and thanks for keeping us posted.

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