Wednesday 7 December 2011

What I Want For Christmas

Christmas is quickly approaching and The Hubby has been asking me what I want. I still haven't been able to give him an answer. It's weird because usually I have no problems coming up with ideas for presents, especially if they are for me. There's always something I want, maybe a new handbag, maybe some jewellery, maybe clothes. But this year I'm drawing a blank.

This is not like me at all. I have been wondering what is wrong with me that I can't figure out something, anything that I would like to see wrapped under the tree this year.

Part of the problem is that I usually get clothes and being 10 weeks pregnant makes that a difficult one. I'm still in my normal clothes but soon to grow out of them I'm hoping. It's too early to buy maternity clothes, especially when I've already got a box of them down in the garage. So new clothes are pretty much out for now.

Another part of the problem is of course that we have spent a crazy amount of money this year on our fertility treatments and the travel required to do so. So obviously we are on a much more limited budget than normal.

But the largest part is that really, all I want is a living baby. One that I can take home in a car seat instead of in a tiny urn. My due date isn't until June and I certainly don't want my baby to come in time for this Christmas. I guess what I want is to know for sure that he or she will be born healthy and live a very long and happy life. I want my rainbow baby.

I want a guarantee that nothing will go wrong this time.

I want the peace of mind of knowing that all will end well.

That's what I want for Christmas this year.

15 comments:

  1. I understand completely. When my son died, all I could think about was getting pregnant again. Once I was pregnant again, all I could think about was having a healthy baby. I turned down lots of fun invites because there was nothing I wanted more than my baby. I am sending you all the energy I have to make this baby healthy and strong!

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  2. Oh girl- I pray that you can have your baby there with you next Christmas. xo

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  3. Will pray for you! Have a great Christmas!

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  4. Yes! Right now this maybebaby is all that I'm thinking about. Which isn't good, because I have a ton of shopping and decorating to do! How can I ask for anything for Christmas when I have what I want...sort of?


    That being said I totally want a Kindle Fire. But I wanted one of those before I got pregnant. :)

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  5. I am hoping that you get the best Christmas gift ever (a little late...say June). In the meantime maybe a pampering of some sort would be a nice gift if you like that sort of thing. Or maternity photos or a 3-D ultrasound or such. I am wishing you the best and hope things continue to go smoothly for you all. Take care :)

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  6. I also totally understand. We're only 4 months out from our loss and there's no item or thing I want for Christmas this year. Those things hold no meaning or joy for me, when all I really want - this year, at least - is the one thing I can never, ever have.

    Hugs to you and I hold hope that your Christmas wish this year will come true next summer.

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  7. My sentiments, exactly. I want NOTHING else. Nothing for years and year... I don't care. I just want a healthy baby. Well, I want Andrew, but I also want his siblings to be healthy. That would be the most wonderful gift of all.

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  8. Speak it into being. Come up with your own mantra and bring that positivity and well-being to you. All the best to your and yours for the holidays and the year to come.

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  9. Oh, I wish I could give you your wish. It's so hard when we start to worry about the what ifs. Hang in there. Everything will be fine!

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  10. I hope you have a restful and joyful holiday with your hubby.

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  11. Excellent post dude! We will pray for you, have a delightful morning and enjoy the Christmas party! Happy Christmas.

    Baby Shower Invitations

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  12. I want the same thing! My precious baby in June, live and healthy. I also really want to make it to the 12 week mark tomorrow.
    Hoping and praying for both of us (hugs)

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  13. Nothing else matters right now it feels like. Don't really need anything else at the moment.

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  14. I want that for you too, very much.
    xo

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