Friday, 5 November 2010

I should be packing right now.

I really should be packing. We are flying home to see the family for the first time since losing our son in August. This was going to be the first visit home for him to meet his grandparents and extended family. But instead of bringing home a happy baby, we are bringing home his ashes in a tiny plastic urn. Instead of being held by his loving parents, his ashes will be scattered in a beautiful place that we both love. It is not fair and I do not want to have to be doing any of this. So this is why I am not packing yet. Because once I start packing I have to face the reality that I am only packing for 2 and not for 3.


  1. I understand how you feel about the packing, I have similar feelings about tomorrow, when I will see my sister for the first time since we got the news. I haven't blogged about it because I feel it isn't my story to talk about so most of my 'friends' don't even know that my niece won't live after birth.

    I can't imagine it has become easier in any way, but I hope you have had a glimpse of your new normal, enough to keep you going in that direction.

    Big hugs. Jen

  2. I am so sorry to hear your sad news about your niece. Sending love to your family.

    Still working on the new normal, but time does help heal.

  3. I am so sorry this is the first time I have been on your blog, came over from blog gems. But I had to comment to say how sorry I am.

    My mum lost twin boys in a similar tale to yours inbetween my sister and I and it really struck a cord with me. I hope that you find your new normal soon xxx

  4. I have previously been a stalker of your blog and your heart-breaking stories. So sorry about your loss. Still now it pains me. All my hugs to you.