I can't believe it's been 5 years since we said hello and good bye to our beautiful little boy.
So much has changed since then. We have a new house and two beautiful living little girls. To look at us now you might never see all that we have been through. We have become one of those families who look just like any other family.
But of course we're not.
Five years on is much easier than one year on. At five years the edges of the pain have softened quite a bit. There are definitely still some hard days and sad moments, but they are fewer and farther in between.
It's fair to say that we have survived our tragedy. It's also fair to say that our marriage has survived our tragedy. Not all marriages survive the loss of a child so for that I am grateful.
For all of you out there who are still in the trenches. For all of you who are still in the fog of grief. For all of you I can honestly say that it won't always hurt this bad. It never goes away, but it does get better.
Dealing with the loss of a child is never easy, but it's even more difficult when you are an expat living far from home. Life will never be "normal" again and so now the challenge is to find my new normal. I am now back in the USA and the proud parent of two daughters, born using two different egg donors. "Frostina" and "Olea" are the loves of my life and I feel so grateful for the amazing women who donated their eggs and made my family possible.
Wow, five years. Thinking of you and your little boy today.
ReplyDeleteSending love your way. Five years is so much.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like it goes quite fast when in the fog it feels like it will never get easier.
ReplyDeleteI really needed to read this as I am approaching the yr mark and at the stage of thinking its getting easier and the with out warning ot snacks you in the face again.
I feel our marriage is stronger and relationship closer, we share more feelings now and feel more united, I'm glad to read of you recognising how special that is.
Did you do anything for the 5yr mark?
Thank you for writing this post.
ReplyDeleteHugs! It's so hard to think things will get easier when you're in the midst of loss. I'm happy to hear it's getting easier with each year.
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