You see, while Father's Day is the same in the UK and in the US, Mother's Day is not. So I have not one, but two Mother's Days to get through. A bit like those special buy one get one free offers you see in the shops. Normally I love those things, but not so much this time.
Why am I even talking about this? Well because today it's Mother's Day in the UK.
It's such a bittersweet day for me.
- Two years ago I was happily pregnant with my Son. My head was filled with the dreams of all the Mother's Days we would spend together.
- Last year I spent the day without him in my arms. It was not at all the day I had imagined a year before.
- This year I am pregnant again, and yet still grieving my son. My head is filled both with the dreams of all the Mother's Days I will (hopefully) spend with Frostina, and all the sadness of the ones I won't be spending with my Son.
Today I will lay low and probably not leave the house. Thus reducing the chances that I will run into all the happy Mothers spending the day with their living children. I'm not sure I'm ready for all that just yet. Part of me thinks that being pregnant again should make this day easier. The other part of me realizes that it probably won't. So I won't be taking any chances.
I'll just hunker down and wait for this day to be over. And then, lucky me, I get to do it all over again in May. Ahhh, the fabulous life of an expat!
To all the British Baby Loss Mums out there, I wish you a gentle Mother's Day. I'd like to think that our babies are smiling down on us from above.
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| Photo courtesy of CarlyMarie |
I hope you manage to get through today ok. I kinda have to do it twice as well as I live in England, but my parents emigrated to USA a few years ago so will have to wish my mother a happy day again in may.
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I hear you, this day have thrown me into hibernation mode as well. Life of an expat indeed. Hope the rest of the day is gentle on you.
ReplyDeleteMother's Day is a day I can barely handle one of! Good plan to stay home, I'm sorry you have to deal with it twice. I really do hope that once these babies arrive days like Mother's Day will have a happiness to them, but I have to believe they will always feel bittersweet...like most things.
ReplyDeleteScrew two Mother's Days! Agh. I think that although I have B here this year, I'll still, still feel the sting. The burn. The pain of missing Andrew. Mother's Day will never quite be the same as I'd envisioned it (but I hadn't really and I'm sure glad I didn't because I have enough to mourn the loss of).
ReplyDeleteWishing the day is swift-- considering it's almost over since we have a time difference. :)
I didn't realize that the UK celebrated TWO Mother's Day's until reading May's post (Nuts in May -- she's great, if you don't already read her!) ...all I can say is UGH. DOUBLE the torture for those of us who either don't have moms, don't like our moms, have lost a child, or desperately want one (and don't have one). All in all, I think that's a pretty large segment of the population who would rather NOT spotlight the fact that our lives aren't quite what we imagined they would be.
ReplyDeleteSending you love and hugs and hopes that today flies by with minimal heartache.
Jo
Hope you're day passes OK... two mother's day must be so hard. Thinking of you from afar and sending you love and wishes xoxo
ReplyDeletePeace and hugs. I am wishing you a next year when you have the pure joy of your little Frostina to ameliorate the grief of loss.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine how hard days like this are for you. I wish you the best and hope you get to enjoy the next one with a gorgeous baby in your arms.
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http://www.housesbyshannon.blogspot.com (Mommy of One and Counting)
I hope your day went well and next your you can celebrate twice with you little one in your arms.
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