Monday 10 October 2011

Mr Wandy Gave Me The Finger

As I briefly mentioned in a previous post, my second ultrasound and blood work for my frozen embryo cycle went well and I'm all set for my embryo transfer this Thursday. What I failed to share with you was what exactly happened at the clinic that day.

As many of you know, they check your lining using an internal ultrasound machine which I like to call Mr. Wandy. If you haven't had the pleasure of an appointment with him I will try to describe what he looks like.

He is long and skinny so he can fit just where he needs to go. He is white and plastic with a cord coming out of the bottom that attaches to the machine. He looks a bit like a curling iron without the metal barrel. He is usually covered with a condom and a bit of lube on the top. The first time I saw him I was a bit freaked out, but now I'm such a pro I hardly notice he's in the room.

The scan I had last week started off like any normal scan. I am called by the nurse and follow her to the exam room. She chats with me about the weather while I undress from the waist down and assume "the position." It's at this moment that I notice something is different about Mr Wandy.

Instead of being covered by a condom, he is being covered by a blue rubber glove. To be more specific, he is being covered by the middle finger of this blue rubber glove. There is a bit of lube squirted on top of the middle finger. The rest of the fingers and the thumb are flopping around limply while the middle finger stands at attention.

Now I'm assuming they used the glove because they were out of condoms. But I do have to say that it felt a bit strange being fingered by Mr. Wandy.


11 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! This is the best wanding story I've heard yet! Did you say anything to the ultrasound tech??

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  2. Hilarious! They must have run out of condomns!

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  3. I wish you took a picture of that :) so classic and kind of emblematic of this entire experience in a way.
    Wonder what wandy will be 'wearing' for your next date???

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  4. BAHAHAHAHA XD That would have been hilarious!

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  5. Hopping over from the Monday Mingle Blog Hop! Following you via GFC. Stop by and say Hello! http://detroitmomandherviews.blogspot.com/

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  6. This is hilarious! I still remember the first time I met Mr. Wandy. My husband was with me, and we walked in and noticed the container of condoms...which we thought was strange (they weren't individually wrapped.) I didn't know they had to do ultrasounds in that manner. When they asked me to come in for an u/s, I assumed it'd be the belly kind! So, we were both shocked when Mr. Wandy came out! Then we knew what those condoms were for! I would have been even more freaked (read traumatized) if there was a glove scenario like you had! Goodness!!!

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  7. Seriously? Oh my.. a glove in place of a dildo cam condom. How special. ;o)

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  8. Thank you for making me laugh, when all I've been able to do today is cry. Fingered indeed!

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  9. Oh I cannot wait to see what kind of freaks (you know, like us) are going to find your blog in searches after this post....

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