Frostina has started preschool and the transition has not been easy.
I had to pick her up the first day after a few hours because she wouldn't stop crying. *Hear that, that's my heart breaking a little bit*
It's still very early days but she cries every day when I drop her off. And that makes me sad.
Plus, this has triggered severe separation anxiety with her and nightmares. Oh, and now she's afraid of the dark because of the scary dreams.
Please tell me this will pass soon. I'm not sure how long I can take it. My happy, sunny little girl is an anxiety ridden ball of emotions right now.
Dealing with the loss of a child is never easy, but it's even more difficult when you are an expat living far from home. Life will never be "normal" again and so now the challenge is to find my new normal. I am now back in the USA and the proud parent of two daughters, born using two different egg donors. "Frostina" and "Olea" are the loves of my life and I feel so grateful for the amazing women who donated their eggs and made my family possible.
Monday, 12 January 2015
Sunday, 4 January 2015
What To Do?
For many years this space has been my haven, my sanctuary, and my support system.
When I began I was broken,,,, completely. I was empty and was desperately reaching out for help. I needed to find people like me. People who had suffered unthinkable loss. I had to know I wasn't alone.
And I found it, and so much more.
I truly believe that blogging, and the connections I made here saved my sanity. It was the extra bit of therapy that I needed. I owe this space and all of you my life.
But lately I find I have nothing to say. Partly because with 2 little girls to take care of my brain is fried,,,, and partly because I feel like maybe I've said it all.
I never wanted to be a Mommy blogger.
Nothing against Mommy bloggers, but I just don't really want to write about potty training (good days and bad days) and starting solids with my little one (going very well).
Or do I??
As I see more and more of my people, the people who were blogging furiously when I was. When I see these blogs go inactive. When I look at my reader and see hardly any new posts, I start to wonder if it's time for me to say goodbye as well.
I don't really want to, but I don't have much to say right now.
I am torn, do I keep this up but just at a very sporadic pace??
Or do I accept that I have found My New Normal and go about my daily life without documenting it here?
When I began I was broken,,,, completely. I was empty and was desperately reaching out for help. I needed to find people like me. People who had suffered unthinkable loss. I had to know I wasn't alone.
And I found it, and so much more.
I truly believe that blogging, and the connections I made here saved my sanity. It was the extra bit of therapy that I needed. I owe this space and all of you my life.
But lately I find I have nothing to say. Partly because with 2 little girls to take care of my brain is fried,,,, and partly because I feel like maybe I've said it all.
I never wanted to be a Mommy blogger.
Nothing against Mommy bloggers, but I just don't really want to write about potty training (good days and bad days) and starting solids with my little one (going very well).
Or do I??
As I see more and more of my people, the people who were blogging furiously when I was. When I see these blogs go inactive. When I look at my reader and see hardly any new posts, I start to wonder if it's time for me to say goodbye as well.
I don't really want to, but I don't have much to say right now.
I am torn, do I keep this up but just at a very sporadic pace??
Or do I accept that I have found My New Normal and go about my daily life without documenting it here?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)