A few weeks back I wrote about my confusion and unhappiness at Frostina's new sleeping patterns.
It all started when she dropped her night feed. She wasn't hungry in the middle of the night, but she still wanted to hang out with me. So she would get up and make noises which would eventually turn into crying. I would pop out of bed each time and rush to her aid.
After a couple weeks I figured out that she really didn't need anything... she just wanted me to come see her. One night I was sure she was teething and crying out in pain. But the second I picked her up to give her some medicine she started kicking and smiling. No teething pain, she just wanted her Mommy to come in and pick her up.
So I stopped picking her up and would only go in to replace the pacifier/dummy. Well she got wise to this little trick as well. One night she was screaming so I went in to see what was wrong. I was quite shocked to see her holding her pacifier/dummy in both hands directly above her face. She was crying until she saw me. Then she flashed me a huge smile and popped the pacifier/dummy right back into her mouth. She had gotten me again, that cheeky monkey!
So I decided that I needed to do some kind of sleep training because going back and forth from my room to hers 8 or 9 times a night just wasn't working for me. To be fair, it wasn't working for her either because she wasn't getting enough sleep. As a result, she started having trouble with her naps as well and was quickly becoming a cranky, overtired little baby.
The Hubby wasn't as keen on the sleep training idea. Not because he didn't think she needed it, but because he has a hard time listening to her cry. He also has to go to work every day and didn't like the idea that he would be up from 2-5am every night while we went through it. I explained to him that each night was getting worse and we needed to do something soon.
We finally agreed that I would do the sleep training when he was away on a work trip. He would be gone for a week and I could do it then. Sounds like a pretty cushy deal for him doesn't it?? He gets to sleep uninterrupted in a nice hotel room while I sleep train on my own. I can't say I was thrilled to be doing it all on my own, but sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do.
I chose a variation of Dr Ferber and Dr Weissbluth's methods. Basically I let her cry for 5 minutes then went in to check on her. Then I would increase the time by 5 minutes each time if she was still crying. Not going for longer than 15 minutes without checking on her.
The first night was of course the hardest. She was up from 3 until 4 crying in spurts with me checking on her at the designated intervals. She finally fell back to sleep a bit after 4 and slept until her normal wake up time. I was thinking that there was no way I would be able to last through a week of this and almost gave up after the first night.
The second night was so much better. She only got up once at 4am and immediately fell asleep after I went in to check on her after the first 5 minutes of crying. Back to sleep and then up at her normal wake up time.
The third and fourth nights I increased the first crying wait time to 10 minutes. On the 3rd night she got up two different times and cried for 10 minutes each time. On the 4th night she cried for a few minutes and then put herself back to sleep (success!!) and then got up one more time and cried for 10 minutes but went right back to sleep after I went in to reassure her.
On the fifth night she did a bit of crying in very short bursts but I didn't have to go into her room even once!!! And from there it's slowly getting better. She's not sleeping all the way through each night just yet but I'm not having to get up 8 or 9 times anymore.
We did have a bit of an issue when The Hubby got back though. You see, while I thought it was terrible that I had to sleep train by myself, it turns out that it was actually a good thing. You see, The Hubby and I have different levels of tolerance for Frostina's crying.
After a week of sleep training, mine has built up. But his is very low. I had wanted to let her cry for longer intervals as the days went on but he didn't agree with me. His first night back she was crying and I wanted to leave her a bit longer. He basically told me that I was letting her cry too long and if I didn't go check on her than he would.
So I did, and she fell right back to sleep. And we have compromised and agreed that I won't let her cry for longer than 15 minutes without checking on her. I just hope that won't teach her to just cry for 15 minutes and Mommy will come rushing in. I'm hoping that over the week of sleep training she's now able to put herself back to sleep and won't want anymore middle of the night playtime.
So while sleep training was absolutely horrible, it seems to have worked. I know it's controversial and not for everyone, but I'm happy I did it.
Dealing with the loss of a child is never easy, but it's even more difficult when you are an expat living far from home. Life will never be "normal" again and so now the challenge is to find my new normal. I am now back in the USA and the proud parent of two daughters, born using two different egg donors. "Frostina" and "Olea" are the loves of my life and I feel so grateful for the amazing women who donated their eggs and made my family possible.
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Saturday, 12 January 2013
Sunday, 23 December 2012
Teething??? Or Just Playing???
Frostina is doing really well these days. Now that her colic has gone, she has revealed herself to be a happy, sweet, and very content baby. She's a joy to be around and I feel very blessed to have her in my life.
A few weeks back we started weaning her onto solids. I've jumped into this with two feet and am making my own baby foods. I've got this super cool steamer/blender combo machine and have been making lots and lots of baby purees. So far she's been a great eater and will happily try anything we give to her. Her favourite so far is mango.
As a result of adding solids, she has started sleeping through the night without needing to get up for a bottle. Not every night just yet, but quite a few so far. You would think this would have me jumping for joy,,,, right? It would if she was actually sleeping all night. But she's not quite there yet. As a result, I'm getting up more often with her than before,,,, and Mama is tired!
She wakes up at the time she would want a bottle (2 or 3 am) and I go into her room and pop the dummy/pacifier back into her mouth. If she's not hungry then she will go back to sleep, sometimes on the first try, other times it takes 2 or 3 tries.
On the nights that doesn't work I get up and feed her a very small bottle. Some nights she doesn't even finish that which reassures me that she doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night anymore. It's just a habit to get up and want to eat.
Regardless of whether she eats or not, we now have a new habit. Frostina will then wake up and start making noises every hour after that until it's time to get up. So if she first gets up at 2 then I will have to go back in and give her the dummy/pacifier at 3, 4, and then several times from 5-6am. That last hour is awful but I refuse to get her out of bed until 6am which I think is still pretty early.
It's driving me crazy and obviously affecting my sleep. I can't figure out what's going on. She might be teething, but she doesn't wake up unhappy or crying. I don't want to give her pain medicine every night "just in case" either. I want to only use medicine if she actually needs it.
I'm starting to wonder if maybe she just enjoys my company in the middle of the night?? Perhaps she's figured out that Mommy will come rushing in whenever she squawks and she's making a game out of it?
I am considering doing some sleep training, but they say not to try and sleep train when babies are teething. So since she's 6 and a half months old and no teeth yet, it's likely that she is teething.
But how do I know?
A few weeks back we started weaning her onto solids. I've jumped into this with two feet and am making my own baby foods. I've got this super cool steamer/blender combo machine and have been making lots and lots of baby purees. So far she's been a great eater and will happily try anything we give to her. Her favourite so far is mango.
As a result of adding solids, she has started sleeping through the night without needing to get up for a bottle. Not every night just yet, but quite a few so far. You would think this would have me jumping for joy,,,, right? It would if she was actually sleeping all night. But she's not quite there yet. As a result, I'm getting up more often with her than before,,,, and Mama is tired!
She wakes up at the time she would want a bottle (2 or 3 am) and I go into her room and pop the dummy/pacifier back into her mouth. If she's not hungry then she will go back to sleep, sometimes on the first try, other times it takes 2 or 3 tries.
On the nights that doesn't work I get up and feed her a very small bottle. Some nights she doesn't even finish that which reassures me that she doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night anymore. It's just a habit to get up and want to eat.
Regardless of whether she eats or not, we now have a new habit. Frostina will then wake up and start making noises every hour after that until it's time to get up. So if she first gets up at 2 then I will have to go back in and give her the dummy/pacifier at 3, 4, and then several times from 5-6am. That last hour is awful but I refuse to get her out of bed until 6am which I think is still pretty early.
It's driving me crazy and obviously affecting my sleep. I can't figure out what's going on. She might be teething, but she doesn't wake up unhappy or crying. I don't want to give her pain medicine every night "just in case" either. I want to only use medicine if she actually needs it.
I'm starting to wonder if maybe she just enjoys my company in the middle of the night?? Perhaps she's figured out that Mommy will come rushing in whenever she squawks and she's making a game out of it?
I am considering doing some sleep training, but they say not to try and sleep train when babies are teething. So since she's 6 and a half months old and no teeth yet, it's likely that she is teething.
But how do I know?
Monday, 29 October 2012
Stupid Time Change
Whoever dreamt up changing clocks back and forth for "Daylight Savings Time" or "British Summer Time" clearly did not have a small baby. Especially a small baby who they had just barely gotten on a sleeping schedule. If I ever meet the genius who invented this sleep-routine-ruiner I will be sure to give them a piece of my mind.... although I suspect they may have died a long time ago.
Here in the UK we changed our clocks back one hour and it is wreaking havoc in our house. It took me ages to get Frostina on a sleeping schedule. It started with bed time which we have been doing for quite a while now. Bath time at 6, bottle right after that, and in bed sleeping by 6:30. She would wake up once in the night to eat, usually around 2 and then back to sleep until around 6:30 or so. I would have liked her to sleep until 7 but I found that trying to put her to be any later than that just resulted in her waking up earlier.
Naps have been a bit more of a struggle. Frostina has never been a big fan of napping. But I was finally making some progress. A 45 min to 1 hr nap around 8:30am and then another nap around 12'ish. This second one sometimes went longer than an hour. Then I usually could get her to take another around 3. Then she was awake until the bedtime routine started.
I'm not saying things were perfect. She would sometimes want to be up at 5am (ugh) and sometimes wouldn't want to nap at our agreed upon time (well I agreed but obviously she didn't). But overall it was looking promising. I have given up a few daytime activities in order to try and get this sleeping schedule going and it was nice to see that it was worth it.
Until this weekend,,,,,,,,, and that stupid time change.
Now it's all out the window.
I know you're thinking, "Well it's only an hour, what's the big deal?" Here's what the big deal is. Last night I had to put her to bed at 5pm because she was too tired and cranky for me to try and push her to the "new" 6pm. As a result, she was up at 12:30 for her night feed and then a bright and shiny 4:30am in the morning.
Baby waking up at 4:30 and wanting to start her day is completely unacceptable to me! So I did what every good mother does. I shut off the baby monitor, shoved her dummy/pacifier back in her mouth, shut her bedroom door, and prayed for sleep.... mine and hers.
This worked ok. I did have to get up several times yesterday morning and this morning to re-insert dummy/pacifier and plod back into my own bed. But each morning I refused to get her up and out of her bed until after 6am.
But since she was actually awake earlier than the time I let her out of her bed, she needed to nap earlier. So now her morning nap was at 7:30 and that threw off the rest of the day. I ended up trying to put her down 5 separate times for naps. I got about 30-45 minutes on 4 of those attempts. So it's just a mess. She no longer knows when she should be sleeping and neither do I.
Why do we have to do this again???
Anyway, tonight I'm going to try and push her bedtime back by 15 minutes and see how that goes. If that works then I'll try pushing it later and later until we get back to the "new" 6pm.
That should probably take a couple of weeks to get sorted and then we will be off for our trip home to California where the time difference will be 8 hours...... good times!!!
Here in the UK we changed our clocks back one hour and it is wreaking havoc in our house. It took me ages to get Frostina on a sleeping schedule. It started with bed time which we have been doing for quite a while now. Bath time at 6, bottle right after that, and in bed sleeping by 6:30. She would wake up once in the night to eat, usually around 2 and then back to sleep until around 6:30 or so. I would have liked her to sleep until 7 but I found that trying to put her to be any later than that just resulted in her waking up earlier.
Naps have been a bit more of a struggle. Frostina has never been a big fan of napping. But I was finally making some progress. A 45 min to 1 hr nap around 8:30am and then another nap around 12'ish. This second one sometimes went longer than an hour. Then I usually could get her to take another around 3. Then she was awake until the bedtime routine started.
I'm not saying things were perfect. She would sometimes want to be up at 5am (ugh) and sometimes wouldn't want to nap at our agreed upon time (well I agreed but obviously she didn't). But overall it was looking promising. I have given up a few daytime activities in order to try and get this sleeping schedule going and it was nice to see that it was worth it.
Until this weekend,,,,,,,,, and that stupid time change.
Now it's all out the window.
I know you're thinking, "Well it's only an hour, what's the big deal?" Here's what the big deal is. Last night I had to put her to bed at 5pm because she was too tired and cranky for me to try and push her to the "new" 6pm. As a result, she was up at 12:30 for her night feed and then a bright and shiny 4:30am in the morning.
Baby waking up at 4:30 and wanting to start her day is completely unacceptable to me! So I did what every good mother does. I shut off the baby monitor, shoved her dummy/pacifier back in her mouth, shut her bedroom door, and prayed for sleep.... mine and hers.
This worked ok. I did have to get up several times yesterday morning and this morning to re-insert dummy/pacifier and plod back into my own bed. But each morning I refused to get her up and out of her bed until after 6am.
But since she was actually awake earlier than the time I let her out of her bed, she needed to nap earlier. So now her morning nap was at 7:30 and that threw off the rest of the day. I ended up trying to put her down 5 separate times for naps. I got about 30-45 minutes on 4 of those attempts. So it's just a mess. She no longer knows when she should be sleeping and neither do I.
Why do we have to do this again???
Anyway, tonight I'm going to try and push her bedtime back by 15 minutes and see how that goes. If that works then I'll try pushing it later and later until we get back to the "new" 6pm.
That should probably take a couple of weeks to get sorted and then we will be off for our trip home to California where the time difference will be 8 hours...... good times!!!
Thursday, 29 March 2012
Sleep Eludes Me
Not a chance sister!
The second I get into bed something strange happens. My tired body and mind start revving back up again. I am able to silence the mind by doing some yoga breathing, but the body will not be quieted. My sore tired body won't be still. I start getting twitchy and fidgety.
My legs want to be moving. My PJ's wrap around my bump and make me uncomfortable. My feet get cold and need socks on,,, only to then need to be kicked off a few hours later. I have to pee... I think. I try and relax again. Deep breaths, relaxing each muscle at a time.
Just as it starts working I have the need to twitch, or roll over, or pee. The spell is broken and I'm awake again. I'm soooo tired though. So I start to get mad that I can't sleep. My mind starts racing about what I need to do tomorrow, what I forgot to do today, or drifts into that place of bad memories.
Stop it! I snap my mind back in place! But the body has picked up all this new anxiety and tension and refuses to relax. So I get up because I see that no sleep will come at this rate. And I'm keeping The Hubby from sleeping which I feel bad about.
Nothing good is on TV after midnight. So I play around on the internet or read a book, waiting to feel sleepy enough to try to sleep again.
Last night that time didn't arrive until 2:30am. I tried once at 12:30, but it was in vain and I had to admit failure and get up again. So to sleep around 3am and up again in the morning at 8am. Perhaps tonight I'll be tired enough to sleep?? Or perhaps I'll let myself nap if I can. Or perhaps tonight will be a repeat of the last.
I know some will say this is good practice for when Frostina comes. My answer to that......
When I actually have a living breathing baby in my house I will try my best not to complain about not getting a lot of sleep. But until that happens,,,, Mama is tired and needs her sleep!!!
Photo from here
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