A Fresh Start

In preparation for our big move back to the USA we have been de-cluttering. Going through drawers and dark cupboards throwing away all the things we saved thinking we would want someday. I am amazed at how much clutter a family of 3 can manage to collect.

It can be very freeing to get rid of old stuff. I think we tend to collect it because it feels comfortable and sometimes a clean sweep is just what we need. I love the look of a newly cleaned shelf (with lots of space to buy new stuff to shove there someday). It somehow feels like a fresh start.

All was going well until I stumbled across my trusty Bag O Meds. If you've even done any kind of fertility treatment you will be familiar with this, in fact you may have one of your own. Its the bag you put all your various medications and needles in when you're in the middle of treatment.

I don't consider myself a superstitious person, but getting rid of this bag before I have another healthy baby in the house is hard for me. It almost feels arrogant to assume that just because I'm 22 weeks pregnant that all will be well and I will never need to inject myself with another vial of progesterone in oil again. Obviously that is the dream, but I know all too well that pregnancy can go wrong at any time.

So what to do with the bag and it's contents? US customs and immigration rules are very strict these days. You can't even bring food into the country in your shipment due to new bio-terrorism laws. I'm sure they would make exceptions for medicine, but do I really want to take a chance that our whole shipment will be held up in customs just for a superstition? I could carry it on the plane with me as I have done so many times before when I was in treatment, but with all the other luggage we will have it seems impractical.

When I asked The Hubby for advice he shrugged and said to dump it. He seemed confused at my hesitation. I then reminded him that I didn't get rid of the lupron left over from Frostina's IVF cycle until after she was home from the hospital. In fact, when I dug Bag O Meds out from the garage to stuff it full of medication for the cycle we just did with Baby Olea it still had progesterone and del estrogen bottles in it, expired of course.

So getting rid of it all; the needles, and the alcohol swabs, and the cotton balls, and the bandaids, and the vials of medication, and the injection schedule I got from the clinic; getting rid of it all before Baby Olea is with us is a tough one for me. Because I would rather hold onto it (just in case she says in a whisper).

But holding onto this particular bag in this particular set of circumstances just isn't practical. So I took a deep breath, grabbed a trash bag, and got to work emptying the bag. It was easy and it was hard.

I'd like to say that when it was done I felt more free. That I was happy to have a clean sweep and a fresh start. In reality I have anxiety about it. It's silly I know. If the retention of specific objects could keep babies alive then none of would ever find ourselves in the Baby Loss Mom's Club in the first place. But I found comfort in the ritual.

So now I've just got to move on and try to enjoy my fresh start.

Coming Up For Air

I am deep in moving hell but I wanted to come up for air to give a quick update on what's going on. There are immigration forms to fill out, insurance forms to fill out, customs forms to fill out. I think you get the idea here. Lots and lots of forms. Plus there's the whole, "Nothing electrical will work back in the US so you have to sell it all or give it away before you move," thing. Will someone please buy my tumble dryer???

In the midst of all this, I had my anomaly scan yesterday. I hardly had time to be worried about it with everything else going on. Thankfully, all is well with Baby Olea. There she was, moving and kicking around while the doctor tried to capture all the important data via ultrasound. She was of course shy about showing her face so we didn't get great photos, but really all that matters is that she is ok.

We took Frostina with us and she kept wanting to be up on the table with Mommy. The Hubby tried bribing her with food which worked for a while but she got bored staring at her little sister on the TV screen. I forgot that these scans take longer and I think she did a pretty good job overall.

The big move happens next week. By next Friday we will be in Florida in our temporary apartment. It's surreal to think about. I still haven't had time to properly process this. I'm too busy trying to find a new OB and pediatrician for Frostina. This is tricky since we don't really know where we will be living permanently. But I've got to find someone for both of us pretty quickly.

A few friends have offered to throw leaving parties for us. Or, "Leaving Do," as they call them here in England. I'm sure that's when it will hit me that we are actually leaving.

Wow, we are actually leaving.

My "Moving Wife"

Moving is never fun, that's for sure. Moving countries is even more difficult. The nice thing about a corporate move is that there is a whole team dedicated to helping it run smoothly. Once the company flips the switch a hoard of people come out of the woodwork. We have a single point of contact who is at the center of this massive operation. She is like having a wife who specializes in moving. *Side note- I think I would like a wife all the time, it's pretty great.

My "Moving Wife" has really gotten the ball rolling. She has already arranged for the movers and for the relocation agent in Florida. She has contacted and arranged for our temporary housing which is a furnished corporate apartment. She has gotten in touch with the mortgage company we will be working with. She has even arranged for us to have help with disconnecting all our utilities and organizing the final move out cleaning.

My phone has been ringing with all these people contacting me. Dates have been set up and appointments have been made. We now have our move out date (the end of March... Yikes!) and a move in date (well to our temporary house anyway). Our relocation agent has been emailing us properties in the towns we think we want to move to. We have had a call with our mortgage company and are working on getting pre-approved.

All this has been done by my "Moving Wife" in the past 5 days. Amazing!!

Now if only she would come and clear out the clutter that overflows in our house. Then she would be perfect.