Silly Braxton Hicks

We had a bit of fun at Casa de New Normal last night. If your idea of fun is having contractions and calling the labor ward at 1am. Before I go any further let me assure you that I am not in labor. But I did think I was for a little bit last night.

I had a night out with the girls at a local pub last night. I got home around 10:30 and was in bed by 11. I had been feeling good all day, just a bit stiff after having to sit in a booth at the pub for so long. I laid down to relax and Frostina had a good stretch and kick session. We were both relieved to be laying down I think.

I was almost asleep when I felt the tightening in my stomach. Braxton Hicks contractions I assumed. I have been getting them from time to time, almost always when I'm in bed. But these were different. For one, they made me have to use the toilet (sorry TMI but it wasn't pee). They also didn't go away in 2 or 3 minutes like they usually do. I had pain in my upper back and my whole belly was contracting.

I got out of bed and tried walking around to get them to stop. That usually works with my BH contractions. This time it didn't work. By this time I was feeling the contractions in my upper belly and they were making me feel nauseous. I started to wonder if maybe it was my dinner. Was the fish in my fish and chips bad? Was I in actual labor???

That thought stopped me in my tracks. Was I in actual labor? I never had BH contractions in my last pregnancy and since I delivered via C-section I never had any contractions. Maybe this was what they felt like. Why didn't I pack my hospital bag this weekend like I promised The Hubby I would do? At this point I decided I should probably wake up The Hubby,,,, you know in case we had to head down to the hospital or something.

I went into the bedroom and woke him up. He was actually pretty calm considering I woke him up to tell him I was having some sort of contractions and we might be having a baby tonight. His first response was to scold me for not packing my hospital bag. I knew that was coming and I deserved it. But I hate when he gets to be the one to say "I told you so." It goes against the natural order of husband and wife things. "I told you so" is sooooo my line. But I digress.

I dug out the number for the labor ward that I got when I met with the midwives a few weeks ago. I called and explained all my symptoms. She asked all the important questions including if my waters had broken (no), if I had a show (no), and if the baby was still moving (yes). The very nice and very calm midwife said it sounded like braxton hicks and apparently it's not uncommon for them to make you nauseous. She advised me to take some paracetamol (Tylenol) and try to sleep. If they didn't get better than to call back.

So I took the pain relief and got back in bed. The contractions eased almost immediately. Not from the pills I'm guessing but because I felt much more calm after talking to the midwife. I wonder how many calls they get a night from people like me? I was able to fall asleep within a half an hour. So obviously not real labor, because we all know that taking two paracetamols (Tylenol) wouldn't touch real labor pain.

I have an appointment with my doctor today so I can discuss this whole incident with him. Plus it's a scan so I get to see Frostina again!

Sleep Eludes Me

I am a groggy tired mess. I'm tired all day to the point where I'm tempted to nap. But I don't because sometime when I nap I'm unable to sleep at night. So I resist the urge to snooze on the couch in the middle of the day. Night time comes and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. So I change into my PJ's (OK that's a lie, the PJ's have probably been on since before dinner time) and hop into bed. Sleep at last???

Not a chance sister!

The second I get into bed something strange happens. My tired body and mind start revving back up again. I am able to silence the mind by doing some yoga breathing, but the body will not be quieted. My sore tired body won't be still. I start getting twitchy and fidgety.

My legs want to be moving. My PJ's wrap around my bump and make me uncomfortable. My feet get cold and need socks on,,, only to then need to be kicked off a few hours later. I have to pee... I think. I try and relax again. Deep breaths, relaxing each muscle at a time.

Just as it starts working I have the need to twitch, or roll over, or pee. The spell is broken and I'm awake again. I'm soooo tired though. So I start to get mad that I can't sleep. My mind starts racing about what I need to do tomorrow, what I forgot to do today, or drifts into that place of bad memories.

Stop it! I snap my mind back in place! But the body has picked up all this new anxiety and tension and refuses to relax. So I get up because I see that no sleep will come at this rate. And I'm keeping The Hubby from sleeping which I feel bad about.

Nothing good is on TV after midnight. So I play around on the internet or read a book, waiting to feel sleepy enough to try to sleep again.

Last night that time didn't arrive until 2:30am. I tried once at 12:30, but it was in vain and I had to admit failure and get up again. So to sleep around 3am and up again in the morning at 8am. Perhaps tonight I'll be tired enough to sleep?? Or perhaps I'll let myself nap if I can. Or perhaps tonight will be a repeat of the last.

I know some will say this is good practice for when Frostina comes. My answer to that......

When I actually have a living breathing baby in my house I will try my best not to complain about not getting a lot of sleep. But until that happens,,,, Mama is tired and needs her sleep!!!

Photo from here

A Very Important Date

I saw my doctor (or consultant as they refer to them on this side of the pond) this week. It was just a check up. You know, the boring ones where you pee in a cup, have your blood pressure taken, and get weighed. Although with this doctor they are slightly less boring because he has a small portable ultrasound machine in his office. So I got to see Frostina which I always love.

She is laying transverse which explains why I can feel her on both sides of my belly at the same time. She is also super cute and moves around a lot! The moving around part is a great reassurance for me, even if she does make some big kicks that catch me of guard sometimes.

After getting the good news that everything is going well with all the stuff they just checked I asked about my C-Section date. You see, based on my history of faulty placentas and my previous C-Section birth I already know I'll be having another one. This doctor wants to do it at 37 weeks because at this point Frostina will be considered term, and we reduce the risk of a repeat of last time (or perhaps something new). He said once she is term and her lungs are mature there's no reason to just keep her in there for the sake of keeping her in there.

I though it would be too soon to get an exact date but figured I'd ask. My Mom is going to come from the US and would like to be able to book her flights before they cost a small fortune. To my surprise, my doctor said we could set it up then and there. Wow!

So mark your calendars for Friday, the 8th of June!! If everything goes to plan then that's the day our little Frostina will make her debut. I'm just praying that everything continues to go well and we will be able to bring her home with us. A living breathing baby this time! Wouldn't that be amazing?

*Image from here 

If At First You Don't Succeed

Try, try your frozen embryo. : )

That's right, I've finally gotten dates for my frozen embryo transfer. I had really wanted a September transfer because it fits better with my schedule, but alas the clinic doesn't have any dates in September left. Talk about a busy place. So October the 13th it is.

I'm back on the birth control pill again which I will take from now until September 9th. Then I go off it. My baseline ultrasound and blood work are on September 14th and I begin my del estrogen injections on the 15th.

As I mentioned in a previous post, cycling in October is not ideal. We've got a trip home to the US planned for the end of the month which we cannot change. We've already pushed it back twice and if we don't go then, we won't be able to go based on the hubby's work travel schedule. So this means it will be time for my beta test when I'm back at home.

Not ideal, but that's the way it goes and I am going to make the best of it. I am trying to go into this cycle with a renewed sense of cautious optimism. I don't think I'm capable of not being at least a little bit hopeful. I could pretend I wasn't hopeful, but I'd be lying to all of you and to myself. As many times as I've tried and failed, there's always this little bit of me who thinks, "this could be the time it works."

So here I go. This could be the time it works!

Delays

I think one of the things I hate most about infertility (besides the obvious) is that everything takes so much longer than you think it will. Pauses, and delays, and waiting,,,, it's enough to drive a girl crazy.

When we were first informed about our negative pregnancy test the nurse said there was no medical reason to have to wait. She said we could start our frozen cycle with our frosty as soon as my period arrived.

Awesome!! Some semi-good news for once.

Not so fast there missy! It seems that there may be a delay.

I get an email from the nurse a couple of days ago saying the clinic is busy and they may not be able to fit me in until mid-October but she is still trying for an earlier date. Needless to say I am not at all pleased by this news. The hubby and I have a pretty packed schedule and cycling in September would be so much more convenient.

We have already pushed back our trip home to see the family twice and if we cycle in mid-October then I will have to do my beta test somewhere in California,,, where I don't currently have a fertility clinic. Ugh! Plus I really don't want to be getting the news while we're traipsing around the state visiting various family members.

I can't imagine I will take a second negative nearly as well as I took the first and don't think the family really wants to be around a moping crying me. Not to mention that the hubby could potentially find himself trapped in a car with a moping crying me for hours on end as we drive ourselves like ping pong balls from one family members house to the next.

I know I'm being very glass half empty here and it's possible that the cycle will work and I will get a positive test. But even then I'd rather not be staying with various family members when I get the news. I want to get the news at home, where I am comfortable, where I will have time to process the outcome before being bombarded with all that family time.

So I fired back an email saying that I really need to cycle in September. I have not yet heard back which I'm hoping means she is still out there fighting my corner and trying to get me a better date. I assume that if there was no flexibility then I would have already gotten a no in response.

So I cross my fingers and hope for the best. I just hate all this waiting!