Four AM Freakout

I wake up and check the clock (as you do), it's 4am. I roll over to go back to sleep. A dull pain shoots through my stomach and back. I try and ignore it but the dull pain will just not go away. I figure I must have been sleeping in a funny position so I roll over again in an effort to get comfortable.

Ouch. OK, wow, this must be why I woke up at 4am. Hmm, if I can just roll over again maybe the pain will go away. Nope, that's not working either,,, I'm really in pain. I roll over to wake the hubby but of course he's not there because he's away on business. So I'm home alone with these dull achey pains in my upper stomach and back.

Keeping calm would have been advisable, but it's 4am and I'm home alone so of course I start to freak out.

• Maybe my appendix is bursting.
• Maybe I have some sort of ulcer. 
• Maybe the ulcer has made a hole in my stomach and the acid is leaking all over my other organs. - I told you I was freaking out. 

Then it hits me.... what if I have to be rushed to the hospital and need surgery? Our embryo transfer is supposed to be next week.

• What if I can't fly after surgery?- In my head I've had my appendix taken out already. 
• What if we have to cancel this cycle due to this pain? 
• What if it ruins everything? 

By this time I'm really freaking out. Breathing heavy. Heart rate up. I get up and go to the bathroom hoping that may help things out. Nope, but I was lightheaded walking there and back.

• Is that another symptom or am I just dizzy from hyperventilating? 
• What if I pass out? 
• I'm home alone, who will find my body? Then I remember that my personal trainer is set to come over at 9:30 so at least if I fall down and can't get up there will be someone coming over who can call 999 (that's 911 for you Americans). 

I am now in full freak out mode. The pain is moving around a bit, from my stomach to my side to my back. I've never experienced anything like it. What is going on with me? I finally gather enough sense to call NHS Direct which is a 24 hour line where you can call and speak to a nurse. Amazingly they called me back within 10 minutes. The nurse asked me a bunch of questions about my symptoms and decided I must have some kind of virus and told me to stay in bed and drink plenty of fluids.

Not satisfied with that I rang my doctor's office and made an appointment for 10am. At my appointment I explained everything to the doctor including my upcoming IVF cycle and all the rest. She knows my history and what happened to my son so she understands just how sensitive and stressful this cycle is for me. She did a good exam and asked me a bunch of questions as well. By this time I had taken some ibuprofen and the pain was gone.

Her conclusion?

• My appendix isn't bursting. 
• I don't have an ulcer and therefore said ulcer is not burning a hole in my stomach causing the acid to leak over all my organs. 
• This pain is not being caused by all the hormones I'm injecting. 
• She is sure that any dizziness I had was due to freaking out and hyperventilating. 
• This issue shouldn't affect my ability to fly and I will be able to go ahead with the embryo transfer next week. 

So what's wrong with me? Well she said it could be gallstones but based on her exam and my general description of the pain (and the fact that it went away so easily with ibuprofen) that's probably not it. She thinks it's a combination of stress and the Indian food I had for dinner last night.

I really should have figured it out myself. They hubby hates Indian food so when he goes away I sometimes order my favorite curry to be delivered. It's a bit of a treat which I don't have very often. I've got a sensitive stomach and I usually pay for the curry dinner with heartburn and a bit of an upset tummy. So combine this with the fact that I've got a lot on my mind (wow, understatement of the year) and you've got a recipe for total abdominal meltdown.

So I'm not dying,,, I just need to lay off the Indian food. Her advice was to take it easy and try to relax. If only I could figure out how to manage that one. She also advised bland foods and lots of water. If I have any more pain then I need to come back, but she seems to think this is a one-off type of thing. I hope she's right because I've already got too much to worry about.

Why do these things always happen at 4am??

Pouring my heart out with Shell over at Things I Can't Say.